What is 'KFKD radio' and how does one turn it down?

'KFKD radio' is Anne Lamott's metaphor for the constant critical inner voice that tells you shortcomings and disappointments. Taming it involves recognizing its role in self-preservation from childhood fears, giving it a new job like 'ethical consultant,' and focusing on positive external voices that express love and encouragement.

What does 'spiritually fit' mean to Anne Lamott?

For Anne Lamott, being spiritually fit means being present in her body, not 'tripping' on fears or anxieties. It involves breathing, regaining her sense of humor, and remembering her dual citizenship as both a child of the Divine and a human with biographical and genetic details.

What led Anne Lamott to radical self-care and becoming her own priority?

Anne Lamott's journey to radical self-care began with deeply ingrained people-pleasing fueled by a challenging childhood. Catalyzing events included a three-day blackout in 1986 that led to sobriety, and a later moment of existential exhaustion over always being there for others led her to prioritize her own needs, which she credits with meeting her husband three months later.

What lesson did Anne Lamott learn about 'help' in relation to her son's addiction?

Anne Lamott learned that her 'help' was not actually helpful to her son, Sam, during his struggles with meth and alcohol. She realized that her attempts to control him were making things worse, adopting the profound truth that 'my help is not helpful' and that she needed to get back to her own emotional well-being.

What was Josh Waitzkin's dangerous experience with the Wim Hof Method?

Josh Waitzkin, a lifetime free diver, experienced a shallow water blackout at an NYU pool after practicing the Wim Hof breathing method, ignoring warnings not to do it in water. He lost consciousness for three minutes and narrowly avoided permanent brain damage or death, realizing the critical importance of carbon dioxide buildup, not oxygen deprivation, as the trigger for the urge to breathe.

How does Josh Waitzkin describe the initiation of a 'flow state' in his own life and in others?

For Josh Waitzkin, flow often begins with love and self-expression through an art form, like chess. He notes the importance of stretching oneself to the limit and integrating meditation to increase somatic awareness. When training others, he often starts by improving emotional regulation and sensitivity through stress/recovery interval training and biofeedback before introducing formal meditation.

How can one identify and listen to subtle 'inner ripples' of intuition?

Cultivating awareness of subtle inner ripples involves fostering an internal locus of control, a proactive rather than reactive way of life. This means building a mindfulness practice, engaging in biofeedback to enhance emotional regulation, and being aware of how external pressures like social media or constant P&L checks can override subtle intuitive signals.

What is the 'firewalking process' as described by Josh Waitzkin?

The 'firewalking process' is Josh Waitzkin's term for cultivating the ability to learn from other people's experiences with the same physiological intensity as one learns from their own. It involves deep empathy and intense visualization, creating an adrenal response that burns lessons into oneself, especially useful for understanding complex, high-stakes situations like bare markets for investors.

How does the 'principle of scarcity' apply to the creative process?

The principle of scarcity in the creative process involves limiting inputs and applying positive constraints. It means forcing oneself to identify the most important questions, reflecting daily on areas of 'stuckness,' and training to know 'where to look' most potently, rather than being overwhelmed by resources or constant external information.

What is thematic interconnectedness, and how does Josh Waitzkin apply it to education?

Thematic interconnectedness is the ability to see relationships between seemingly disparate parts of life and disciplines, applying principles from one area to another. In education, Josh's nonprofit, The Art of Learning Project, collaborates with teachers in different subjects to weave the same learning principles across math, English, history, and sports, breaking down silos and fostering a love for learning in children.

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Key Moments

TL;DR

Anne Lamott and Josh Waitzkin on writing, inner critics, and mindful living.

Key Insights

Embrace 'shitty first drafts' to overcome perfectionism and the inner critic.

Radical self-care is essential for well-being, especially when people-pleasing is a survival mechanism.

Dark nights of the soul are transformative periods that can lead to profound grace and self-discovery.

Flow states are cultivated through passion, intense practice, and heightened somatic awareness.

Thematic interconnectedness helps break down silos in education and life, revealing hidden harmonies.

Nurturing oneself and others through mindfulness, presence, and empathy is vital in a noisy world.

TAMING THE INNER CRITIC AND TACKLING PERFECTIONISM

Anne Lamott emphasizes the importance of overcoming perfectionism, which she likens to the voice of the oppressor. She advocates for embracing 'shitty first drafts,' teaching that all great works begin imperfectly. Lamott also discusses the concept of 'KFKD radio,' the internal voice that constantly criticizes, suggesting turning down its volume. Her husband's 'Shapes of Truth' work involves acknowledging and reassigning the inner critic's role, perhaps as an ethical consultant, rather than trying to eliminate it, allowing for creative freedom.

THE ROOTS OF PEOPLE-PLEASING AND RADICAL SELF-CARE

Lamott shares her childhood experience of being a people-pleaser, stemming from a tense family dynamic where she felt responsible for others' happiness. This led to a survival mechanism of seeking self-esteem externally and believing women's roles involved self-sacrifice. Through recovery and therapy, she learned the necessity of radical self-care, prioritizing her own needs, symbolized by not always taking the 'broken egg yolk' but allowing others to have it, signifying a shift towards self-nurturance.

NAVIGATING THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL

Lamott describes dark nights of the soul as periods of total emptiness and lostness, often occurring during addiction or existential exhaustion. These experiences, while terrifying, are crucial for transformation. She recounts a three-day blackout leading to a profound realization of needing help, which she likens to 'spiritual WD-40.' More recently, a period of profound exhaustion from people-pleasing led to a cathartic outburst and subsequent realization that prioritizing herself was the necessary path forward.

CULTIVATING FLOW AND SOMATIC AWARENESS

Josh Waitzkin discusses the cultivation of flow states, achieved through passion, competitive intensity, and heightened somatic awareness. He emphasizes that true performance involves integrating physical and mental sensitivity, allowing one to sense danger or opportunity before conscious recognition. Waitzkin's training methods, refined through years of meditation and practice, focus on developing this introspective sensitivity, enabling individuals to attune to subtle internal signals, crucial for high-level decision-making.

THE DANGERS OF EXPERIMENTATION AND LEARNING FROM OTHERS

Waitzkin shares a harrowing experience with the Wim Hof method, highlighting the critical error of performing breathwork in water, leading to shallow water blackout. This near-fatal incident underscores the importance of respecting safety guidelines and understanding physiological limits. He also introduces the concept of 'firewalking,' or learning from others' experiences with intense physiological engagement, advocating for a deeper, embodied understanding of lessons, rather than mere intellectual knowledge, to accelerate growth.

THEMATIC INTERCONNECTEDNESS AND EMBRACING THE 'FUNK'

Waitzkin champions thematic interconnectedness, teaching children and adults alike to see the links between seemingly disparate disciplines. This approach, rooted in his book 'The Art of Learning,' breaks down educational silos and fosters a love for learning by revealing how principles manifest across various fields, from math to sports. He also stresses embracing one's 'funk'—eccentricities and unique qualities—as fundamental to mastery and unobstructed self-expression, rather than trying to fit a mold.

PRINCIPLES OF PARENTING AND UNBLOCKED LEARNING

Waitzkin views parenting as a profound learning experience, emphasizing attunement to a child's innate state of unobstructed self-expression. He advocates for an internal locus of control, encouraging children to engage with challenging conditions like adverse weather rather than relying on external circumstances. Through playful exploration, he instills principles like 'go around' for problem-solving and teaches the importance of regulating their internal state, even when facing discomfort, fostering resilience and agency from a young age.

THE POWER OF SCARCITY AND POSITIVE CONSTRAINTS

Waitzkin highlights the principle of scarcity and positive constraints as crucial for potency in learning, creativity, and habit formation. Instead of layering on numerous resources, he advocates for focusing on the most essential elements. This approach, exemplified by limiting inputs and asking potent questions, forces deeper engagement and prevents dilution. Whether in business or personal development, applying these constraints, even with abundant resources, maintains focus and drives meaningful progress.

EMBODYING QUALITY AND THE ART OF LISTENING

The conversation emphasizes cultivating presence and 'quality as a way of life,' not just in grand moments but in the small, consistent actions. This involves detailed attention, like properly tying a Jiu-Jitsu belt or running a full circle in a warm-up, reflecting a deeper commitment to excellence. Waitzkin advocates for developing somatic awareness to truly listen to internal signals, distinguishing between noise and meaningful insight, and embodying desired principles rather than just intellectually understanding them.

THE ROLE OF SILENCE AND INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL

Finding silence is presented as essential for deep listening and discerning signal from noise. Waitzkin stresses the importance of cultivating an internal locus of control, moving from a reactive to a proactive stance. This involves creating space for reflection and inner work, rejecting the constant need to fill empty moments. By simplifying and focusing on core principles, individuals can maintain clarity and potent engagement, learning to trust subtle intuitions and act from a place of inner knowing.

Mentioned in This Episode

●Supplements

●Products

●Software & Apps

●Companies

●Organizations

●Books

●Concepts

●People Referenced

Common Questions

Anne Lamott advises people to keep their "butt in the chair and to write badly," emphasizing that all first drafts are unreadable. The key is to take it in small steps, 'bird by bird,' focusing on getting something down rather than striving for perfection.

Topics

Free Diving Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Thematic Interconnectedness Scarcity Principle

Mentioned in this video

supplementMagtein

A form of magnesium mentioned as being used by the host for improved sleep onset, quality, and duration.

organizationThe Art of Learning Project

Nonprofit founded by Josh Waitzkin focused on education, working with schools to help children experience thematic interconnectedness in learning.

bookOperating Instructions

Book by Anne Lamott, an account of her son's first year.

organizationJW Foundation

Josh Waitzkin's nonprofit that houses The Art of Learning Project.

conceptTibetan dream yoga

An ancient practice for lucid dreaming from Tibet, which Josh Waitzkin started studying 20 years ago.

productGibbon Classic Slackline

An indoor slackline, used by Josh Waitzkin for physiological awareness training.

personNeil Allen

Anne Lamott's husband, author of 'Shapes of Truth,' who works with people on taming their inner critic.

productBOSU Ball

A balance training device, used by Josh Waitzkin's son Jack for physiological awareness training.

organizationNSF Certified

Third-party certification for supplements, ensuring quality and absence of prohibited substances.

bookSomehow

Latest book by Anne Lamott, an exploration of the transformative power of love.

softwareHeartMath

A biofeedback tool for heart rate variability training, used to enhance emotional regulation.

locationMartha's Vineyard

Location where Josh Waitzkin and his son Jack stayed in a cottage and fostered the 'go around' principle.

bookDreaming Yourself Awake

A book mentioned by Josh Waitzkin that systematically discusses the art of lucid dreaming, fusing East Asian philosophy with Western science.

productTriceratops

A children's toy, mentioned in the context of the items around Josh's slackline.

bookHelp, Thanks, Wow

Book by Anne Lamott, described as a celebration of prayer.

personSt. John the Divine

Reference to the Christian theology of the Dark Night of the Soul.

organizationInformed Sport

Third-party certification for supplements, ensuring quality and absence of prohibited substances.

productIndo Board

A balance board, used by Josh Waitzkin and his son Jack for physiological awareness training.

personMichael Mauboussin

Expert known for his work on cognitive biases, whose ideas are referenced in the discussion of investment strategies.

locationWashington Square Park

Location where Josh Waitzkin played chess with hustlers, which influenced his competitive style.

companyMomentous

Offers high-quality supplements and products for sports performance, sleep, cognitive health, and hormone support.

bookThe Art of Learning

Bestselling book by Josh Waitzkin about an inner journey to optimal performance.

locationNYU pool

The swimming pool at New York University where Josh Waitzkin experienced a shallow water blackout.

personTony Soprano

organizationCosta Rica

toolWim Hof Method

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