Key Moments
James Smith: How To Create The Life You’ve Always Wanted | E120
The Diary Of A CEOKey Moments
James Smith discusses creating your ideal life, embracing authenticity, and finding fulfillment beyond conventional success.
Key Insights
Embrace authenticity and polarizing opinions to stand out and attract the right audience.
True fulfillment comes from process-driven growth and living a life aligned with your values, not external validation.
Success is subjective and can be defined by personal freedom and happiness, not just wealth.
Embrace challenges and discomfort, as they are crucial for personal growth and learning.
Prioritize experiences and connections over material possessions for lasting happiness.
Develop a proactive approach to life, taking responsibility and creating an 'uncancellable' existence.
NAVIGATING EARLY STRUGGLES AND THE EDUCATION SYSTEM
James Smith reflects on his early years, acknowledging a lack of academic success and struggles with learning difficulties. He felt like an outsider in school, often bored and exhibiting behavioral issues, with his brain functioning at a fraction of its potential within the traditional education system. This led him to feel 'not good enough,' initially directing him towards a conventional corporate career path. He highlights the need for a more open conversation about alternative strengths for those who don't excel academically, emphasizing that conventional schooling doesn't define intelligence or potential.
THE MYTH OF SUCCESS AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS
Smith challenges the conventional notion of success, particularly the idea that immense wealth automatically brings happiness. He posits that after a certain income threshold, happiness plateaus, and all wins, whether financial or personal, trigger the same dopamine response. This realization led him to redefine his own success, focusing on the freedom to support friends and family rather than accumulating vast wealth. His goal was never extreme affluence but a life where he was sought after, not a client chaser, emphasizing a 'becoming' process rather than reaching a fixed 'being' state.
THE POWER OF POLARIZATION AND UNCOMPROMISING AUTHENTICITY
Smith explains his strategy of using social media to polarize audiences rather than trying to please everyone. By expressing strong, often controversial opinions, he attracts attention and resonates with a specific segment of people, differentiating himself in a crowded online space. He likens this to a barbecue conversation where a dissenting opinion sparks engagement. This approach, though it alienates some, ensures that those who connect with his message are more likely to become clients or supporters, reinforcing his belief that you don't need universal appeal to succeed.
EMBRACING DISCOMFORT AND THE PROCESS OF GROWTH
A key theme is the importance of embracing difficult or uncomfortable processes for long-term gain. Smith draws parallels between his early struggles with email marketing, where sales were slow, and the initial challenges in learning Brazilian jiu-jitsu. He advocates for perseverance through 'painful times,' understanding that initial setbacks are stepping stones. This mindset extends to his fitness philosophy, where he prioritizes educating clients to become self-sufficient rather than creating long-term dependency, viewing it as his responsibility to equip them with the tools they need to succeed independently.
REDEFINING FITNESS AND PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Smith critiques the one-size-fits-all approach often found in online fitness programs, particularly highlighting his disagreements with Joe Wicks' methods. He argues that blanket prescriptions without education can lead to self-blame when plans fail. His own approach focuses on fundamental principles like calorie deficits, empowering individuals with knowledge so they can adapt and succeed. He emphasizes that true fitness and personal development involve addressing underlying life issues, such as job dissatisfaction or poor relationships, as these often contribute to unhealthy habits and a lack of progress.
BUILDING AN 'UNCANCELLABLE' LIFE AND THE QUEST FOR MEANING
Smith discusses the concept of an 'uncancellable' life, built on transparency, authenticity, and self-awareness. He believes that by never claiming moral perfection and being honest about one's beliefs and actions, one can withstand criticism. He advocates for creating personal resources and owning platforms to avoid external control. This extends to his views on family and relationships, where he contrasts the fleeting nature of pleasure with the enduring happiness derived from connection and sacrifice. He aims for a life rich in meaning and shared experiences, not just material wealth.
THE VALUE OF EXPRESSION AND MANAGING CONFINEMENT MENTALITY
The conversation delves into the concept of 'mental jail,' where individuals feel imprisoned by societal expectations or their own limitations. Smith stresses the importance of finding outlets for self-expression, whether through creative pursuits, conversation, or owning one's narrative. He sees activities like podcasting as therapeutic, allowing for honest dialogue. He also touches upon anxiety, often stemming from the fear of falling or external judgment, and how managing this requires proactive self-awareness and a degree of calculated risk-taking, much like intentionally polarizing an audience to refine one's true followers.
RELATIONSHIPS, FAMILY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS
Smith shares his evolving perspective on romantic relationships and the desire for family. He acknowledges his past struggles with commitment, attributing it partly to high, perhaps idealistic standards. However, he emphasizes a growing desire for meaningful connection and the profound happiness derived from raising children and making sacrifices for loved ones. This contrasts with the temporary pleasure of material possessions or superficial relationships. He sees family as an ultimate project, offering a deeper, more lasting fulfillment than any personal achievement or accumulation of wealth.
CONFIDENCE AS A DEVELOPABLE TOOL, NOT AN INNATE TRAIT
Concluding with his upcoming book on confidence, Smith reframes it as an obtainable tool rather than an innate superpower. He is exploring its various facets, including heritability and practical application, acknowledging that confidence can be situational. He aims to provide clarity on identifying and addressing confidence gaps, drawing parallels to his approach in fitness and life design – offering practical insights rather than claiming expertise. This journey of writing is also a process of self-discovery, reinforcing his commitment to continuous learning and growth.
Mentioned in This Episode
●Products
●Software & Apps
●Companies
●Organizations
●Books
●Concepts
●People Referenced
Common Questions
Growing up, James was diagnosed with learning difficulties and felt like he wouldn't accomplish much. This led him to believe he'd be stuck in low-level corporate jobs despite being good at them, only later realizing he could pursue other pathways where he'd excel.
Topics
Mentioned in this video
A gym chain where James Smith worked and later bought his way out of.
Podcast sponsor, described as a nutritionally complete, plant-based, low-sugar, gluten-free drink that provides protein, vitamins, and minerals.
Mentioned as a platform that could potentially 'pull the plug' on revenue streams, highlighting the host's desire for an uncancellable life.
New podcast sponsor selling meaningful, affordable men's jewelry, specifically a sand timer necklace symbolizing the finitude of time.
Mentioned as an example of a super successful person who might struggle to find daily excitement, and later referred to as 'Danarian' when discussing enviable lives without kids.
Public figure mentioned as an example of someone who is 'uncorrect' but commands attention and viewership.
Author of 'Tools of Titans' mentioned by James Smith for inspiring a 'gun to the head' mentality for productivity.
Actor mentioned as an example of someone who is 'uncancellable' because he never set an expectation of moral perfection.
Mentioned as an example of a super successful person who might struggle to find daily excitement due to high standards.
Media personality mentioned for using controversial opinions to gain attention, similar to James Smith's strategy.
Comedian mentioned in relation to being diagnosed with learning difficulties and his comedic style regarding controversial topics.
Mentioned as a high achiever who was adopted, as James Smith reflects on his own adoption.
Happiness expert whose podcast with Steven Bartlett discussed unmet expectations leading to unhappiness.
Fitness professional with whom James Smith had a public 'beef' over Joe Wicks' blanket prescribing of fitness solutions and supplement recommendations.
Previous podcast guest whose analogy about leaving a baby on a doorstep reinforced the concept of personal responsibility.
Guest on the podcast, described as the world's fastest-growing online personal trainer and author.
Author quoted for his wisdom on anxiety: 'I've had many worries in my life, most of which never happened.'
Artist mentioned as an example of someone who creates conversation around themselves despite not needing everyone to like them.
Mentioned as someone who reaffirmed James Smith's philosophy against cancel culture by being authentic and not trying to be morally perfect.
Mentioned as a high achiever who was adopted, as James Smith reflects on his own adoption.
Mentioned as someone who reaffirmed James Smith's philosophy against cancel culture by being authentic and not trying to be morally perfect.
Author of 'The 5 Second Rule' whose book was listened to by James Smith while researching confidence, but he found her system didn't work for him.
Host of The Diary of a CEO podcast.
Mentioned as a high achiever who was adopted, as James Smith reflects on his own adoption.
Actor referenced by James Smith regarding his quote about depression being when you take the mask off.
A martial art that James Smith values as a 'nucleus of focus' and a philosophy for life, helping him stay grounded amidst success.
Ancient philosophy that helps James Smith proactively override anxious traits by understanding their historical existence.
Mentioned by James Smith as a 'fantastic cause' that has been 'hijacked by a few' to give it a bad reputation, drawing an analogy with Veganism.
A diet that James Smith openly criticizes, using it to polarize his audience and attract followers who agree with his stance.
James Smith states he supports it from an ethical standpoint but criticizes its 'self-righteous' and 'sanctimonious' elements.
A book by Mel Robbins that James Smith listened to for confidence research, which he found didn't align with his personal experience.
A book by Tim Ferriss that James Smith read, which influenced his approach to work ethic.
A book James Smith read that helped him understand and come to terms with his avoidant relationship style, which he is now working to improve.
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