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World Leading Life Coach: 3 Steps To Figuring Out ANYTHING You Want: Marie Forleo | E184

The Diary Of A CEOThe Diary Of A CEO
People & Blogs5 min read94 min video
Oct 6, 2022|709,827 views|18,621|656
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TL;DR

Marie Forleo shares insights on embracing intuition, overcoming fear, and embracing a "figureoutable" mindset for personal growth.

Key Insights

1

Early life experiences, particularly financial insecurity, can deeply shape beliefs and drive future actions.

2

Prioritizing money as a primary motivator can lead to overworking and neglecting other important aspects of life.

3

Intuition is a soft-spoken, persistent inner voice that guides towards a path aligned with one's true self.

4

Clarity and self-discovery come from engagement and action, not solely from introspection or thought.

5

The phrase "figureoutable" encapsulates a mindset where challenges and dreams are solvable with willingness and strategic action.

6

Redefining success beyond external validation (like wealth or followers) to include well-being, relationships, and fulfillment is crucial.

7

Intentionality is key in managing media consumption and personal relationships, distinguishing between 'can't' and 'won't' is empowering.

8

The concept of 'time genius' involves recognizing that there is always time for what is truly important, shifting from stress to spaciousness.

9

Embracing multi-passion is a strength, allowing diverse interests to enrich one's life and career, contrary to the 'one passion' narrative.

10

Self-compassion is vital, especially for high achievers, and it involves being kinder to oneself and acknowledging progress over perfection.

THE POWER OF EARLY EXPERIENCES AND FINANCIAL MOTIVATION

Marie Forleo's early life was profoundly shaped by witnessing her mother's financial struggles, leading to a deep-seated belief that lack of money equated to a loss of love and safety. This experience fueled a powerful drive to accumulate wealth, which in turn, over time, became a double-edged sword. While it fostered a strong work ethic, it also led to an 'always-on' mentality, self-punishment, and a neglect of personal well-being and relationships. This realization highlighted the cost of making money the sole North Star, dimming other essential human needs and joys.

TUNING INTO INTUITION: LISTENING TO THE INNER VOICE

Forleo emphasizes the existence of a persistent, soft-spoken inner voice – her intuition or higher self – that guides individuals. This voice often nudges us towards paths that may seem counterintuitive to societal conditioning but is ultimately gentle and encouraging. She suggests that while everyone possesses this inner guidance, it requires training to discern it from external noise or fear. Paying attention to small signs, recalling past instances where ignoring this voice led to negative outcomes, and practicing mindfulness through meditation and exercise are crucial steps in honing this ability.

THE 'FIGUREOUTABLE' MINDSET: THREE CORE PRINCIPLES

The 'figureoutable' mindset, central to Forleo's philosophy, is built on three key rules. First, all problems and dreams are figureoutable. Second, if something isn't figureoutable, it's likely a law of nature. Third, and perhaps most crucially, it's essential to acknowledge if you genuinely care enough to solve a problem or achieve a dream. This honesty creates a framework for dedicating energy to what truly matters, recognizing that a lack of progress often stems from a lack of deep-seated desire rather than an inability to figure things out.

CLARITY THROUGH ACTION AND EMBRACING PROGRESS

Forleo advocates that clarity emerges from engagement and action, rather than passive thought or introspection. This means actively pursuing interests, even if they seem unconventional, to gain insight and open creative channels. She stresses the importance of giving oneself permission to experiment and to embrace a messy, iterative process over the pursuit of perfectionism. This approach acknowledges that significant growth and self-discovery often occur through stumbling, learning, and getting back up, rather than waiting for ideal conditions or a complete blueprint.

REDESCRIBING SUCCESS AND MANAGING RELATIONSHIPS

Forleo challenges conventional definitions of success, urging individuals to look beyond external metrics like wealth or follower counts. She highlights the importance of actively cultivating fulfilling relationships and personal well-being. Tools like 'dialogue' from Imago therapy, focusing on presence over constant attention, can transform romantic relationships. She also addresses the societal pressures, particularly on women, regarding life choices like marriage and children, emphasizing the right to choose one's own destiny and to prioritize personal fulfillment and impact. Redefining success requires courage to align actions with core values, not just professional ambition.

BECOMING A 'TIME GENIUS' AND MINDFUL MEDIA CONSUMPTION

The concept of 'time genius' revolves around the understanding that there is always time for what is genuinely important, shifting from a paradigm of time stress to one of spaciousness and control. This involves changing mindsets, learning to ignore the non-essential, designing environments that support productivity, and setting oneself up for follow-through rather than relying on motivation. Furthermore, Forleo stresses intentionality in media consumption, suggesting 'create before you consume' as a powerful mantra. Being mindful of the content one absorbs helps curate a personal 'library' of values, preventing it from being filled with 'junk' that leads to unfulfillment and burnout.

NAVIGATING MULTI-PASSION AND PERSONAL GROWTH

Forleo embraces her identity as a multi-passionate individual, seeing it as a gift rather than a deficit. She encourages others with diverse interests to allow them to flourish, as these varied experiences can enrich one's life and career in unexpected ways. She shares her journey of pursuing dance alongside coaching and bartending, revealing that embracing different passions, even if it initially slows down singular growth, leads to greater fulfillment and a more unique, joyful expression of self. This perspective reframes focus away from a singular path towards embracing the richness of varied life experiences.

ADDRESSING IMPOSTER SYNDROME AND SELF-COMPASSION

High achievers often grapple with imposter syndrome, a feeling of being a fraud, which can persist surprisingly long into a successful career. Forleo openly admits to still experiencing this, particularly when facing new challenges like public speaking. The key, she explains, is practicing self-compassion, acknowledging that it's okay to feel anxious or imperfect. This involves being kind to oneself, celebrating progress over perfection, and recognizing that even seasoned professionals continue to learn and grow. It's about moving away from harsh self-judgment towards acceptance and a deeper faith in one's capabilities and inner wisdom.

Marie Forleo's Guide to a 'Figureoutable' Life

Practical takeaways from this episode

Do This

Track your time meticulously for seven days to identify areas where time is wasted.
Embrace honest self-assessment, distinguishing between 'can't' and 'won't' to align actions with true priorities.
Pursue interests and take action ('Clarity comes from engagement, not thought') to discover your path.
Practice mindfulness through meditation and exercise to quiet external noise and amplify inner intuition.
Utilize tools like 'dialogue' from Imago therapy to improve communication and understanding in relationships.
Redefine success to include happiness and fulfillment, not just financial gain.
Implement strong personal boundaries and intentional media use, creating before you consume.

Avoid This

Don't let perceived lack of time be an excuse for not pursuing what's important.
Avoid perfectionism, as it leads to procrastination; embrace messy, iterative progress.
Don't ignore your inner voice or intuition; pay attention to feelings of expansion or contraction.
Don't rely solely on external motivation; cultivate intrinsic desire and purpose.
Don't outsource your wisdom or look to others to define your path in life.
Avoid constant comparison on social media, as it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and 'junk values'.
Don't allow fear of losing success built to dictate your life choices, especially at the expense of connections and well-being.

Common Questions

Marie's childhood experience of her parents' divorce and her mother's financial distress led her to associate lack of money with loss of love and suffering. This instilled a deep-seated fear and a powerful drive to achieve financial success, which sometimes resulted in over-performance and self-punishment in her early career.

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