What incident caused Ben Williams to hit rock bottom?

While working as a bouncer, Ben was involved in an incident at a nightclub where a man died from a broken neck during a fight. This accidental death, coupled with losing his job and his ongoing cocaine and steroid addiction, sent him into a deep spiral of purposelessness and suicidal ideation.

How did a YouTube advert change the course of Ben Williams's life?

At his lowest point, contemplating suicide, Ben stumbled upon a Royal Marines advert on YouTube. The video, depicting a commando's journey through an endurance course, rekindled his childhood dream of joining the Marines and became the catalyst for him to quit drugs and pursue a new purpose.

What are the core values of the Royal Marines' commando mindset?

The Royal Marines' commando mindset is built upon values such as courage, determination, excellence, self-discipline, integrity, cheerfulness, and humility. These values provide a framework for thinking and acting, especially in extreme circumstances, enabling marines to stay focused and perform their duties.

Why is 'cheerfulness in the face of adversity' a crucial value for a commando?

Ben explains that it's important to be able to laugh at tough situations, as this prevents suffering and a negative downward spiral. This ability to find morale, even when facing extreme warfare or difficult training, is encouraged by the Marines and was something Ben lacked before joining.

How does the military define 'excellence' compared to common societal views?

In the military, excellence is not about achieving perfection, but continuously striving towards it, aiming to be 0.1% better every day. It encourages maximum effort and having high standards, rather than the 'fluffy soft' cultural narrative that praises participation over genuine accomplishment.

What happened to Ben Williams during the IED explosion in Afghanistan?

During an operation in Afghanistan in 2011, Ben's patrol was ambushed by the Taliban with a directional fragmentation IED. He was hit in the back of the head and his leg, experiencing immense pain and initial fear of losing his leg. Many of his comrades were severely injured, and one, Darlow, was left disabled.

How did Ben cope with PTSD and his medical discharge from the military?

After his injury and medical discharge due to hearing loss, Ben relapsed into old patterns, struggling with PTSD and turning to alcohol and fighting. He realized he was spiraling, but found a new sense of purpose by investing back into the military, coaching new recruits and helping them overcome their struggles.

What is the ARA framework for dealing with adversity?

The ARA framework, standing for Accept, Remove, Adapt, is Ben's method for handling difficult situations. It involves accepting what has happened, removing unwanted emotions (like anger or sadness) that cloud judgment, and then adapting proactively to the new circumstances rather than succumbing to victimhood.

What inspired Ben to start his tech company, Lupin?

Ben's experience of initially bottling up his struggles and guilt in the Marines, only to find support from a comrade, inspired him. Lupin is a platform that allows employees to anonymously share their mental state, creating transparency and enabling early intervention to prevent burnout and foster a more open business culture.

Key Moments

Suicidal Drug Addict To Elite Military Commando with Ben Williams | E68

The Diary Of A CEO

People & Blogs3 min read120 min video

Feb 15, 2021|36,424 views|703|79

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Key Moments

TL;DR

From suicidal drug addict to elite commando, rebuilding through military, coaching, and tech.

Key Insights

Childhood trauma and domestic violence significantly shaped Ben's early life and struggles.

The pursuit of an 'alpha male' identity led to dangerous behaviors like steroid use and bouncer work.

A near-fatal incident as a bouncer served as a harsh wake-up call, leading to rock bottom.

The Royal Marines offered a transformative purpose, discipline, and the 'commando mindset'.

Military service, despite its successes, brought PTSD and a relapse into addiction upon return.

Reinvention through coaching elite athletes and launching tech companies demonstrates resilience and adaptability.

THE IMPACT OF CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

Ben Williams' early life was marked by a difficult divorce, domestic violence, and frequent school changes. These experiences created a sense of instability and a lack of belonging, which he didn't fully process until his late twenties. This unresolved trauma, coupled with not having a strong father figure, contributed to a developing resentment towards males and significant challenges in forming healthy relationships and a stable identity. The constant disruption meant he struggled to fit in, often feeling like an outsider.

THE SEARCH FOR IDENTITY AND ALPHA STATUS

Seeking validation and a sense of belonging, a young Ben was drawn to the 'alpha male' persona, influenced by popular films and books. This led him to pursue work as a bouncer at 18, a role he believed would grant him respect and toughness. To enhance this image, he began using steroids, first orally and then through injection, which increased his aggression and made him difficult to be around. This path was a misguided attempt to compensate for his earlier feelings of inadequacy and lack of control.

A TRAGIC TURNING POINT

While working as a bouncer, Ben witnessed a fatal incident where a patron died after falling during a scuffle. This event, resulting in accidental death but profoundly impacting the victim's family, shook Ben to his core. It escalated his existing drug use, particularly cocaine and weed, leading to job loss and a deep sense of purposelessness. He described this period as hitting rock bottom, characterized by daily drug use and a struggle to maintain his addiction, even resorting to cleaning school toilets for income.

TRANSFORMATION THROUGH THE ROYAL MARINES

At his lowest point, contemplating suicide, Ben stumbled upon a Royal Marines recruitment advertisement on YouTube. This sparked a memory of his childhood dream and provided a powerful beacon of hope. He embraced the rigorous application process, overcoming his addiction and mental health challenges. Joining the Marines offered him a structured environment, a strong sense of purpose, and the development of the 'commando mindset,' built on values like courage, determination, and integrity. This transition marked a significant turning point, pulling him away from self-destruction.

COMBAT, INJURY, AND PTSD

Ben's military career was marked by intense combat experiences, including surviving an IED blast in Afghanistan that injured him and tragically killed or wounded several comrades. The physical and psychological toll of war, including dealing with loss and the constant threat of IEDs, led to PTSD. Upon returning home, he struggled with decompression, feeling a lack of appreciation from society and relapsing into alcohol and addiction, which resulted in legal trouble and a court-martial. This period highlighted the ongoing battle with his inner demons.

RESILIENCE AND REINVENTION

Despite setbacks, Ben's resilience shone through. He transitioned his 'commando mindset' skills into coaching, notably working with the England football team. In the face of business challenges like the pandemic, he pivoted to the tech industry, launching a successful company focused on workplace well-being. His journey demonstrates an extraordinary ability to adapt and rebuild, finding new avenues for purpose and applying the core values of discipline, determination, and striving for excellence across diverse fields, from the battlefield to the boardroom.

Mentioned in This Episode

●Products

●Software & Apps

●Companies

●Organizations

●Books

●Concepts

●People Referenced

Common Questions

Ben's parents had a rough divorce when he was young, leading to domestic violence. This, combined with moving schools frequently and not having a strong father figure, instilled in him a hatred towards males and a desire to be an 'alpha male', which eventually led him to become a bouncer and experiment with steroids.

Topics

Entrepreneurship Mental Health & Psychology Human Performance Mindset & Self-Improvement Leadership Development Purpose-driven Life Mental Fortitude Overcoming Addiction Military Values Post-traumatic Growth

Mentioned in this video

Organizations

Royal Marines

The elite military force Ben aspired to join since childhood and eventually joined. The entire video centers around his journey into and experience with the Royal Marines, including their training, values, combat, and the 'commando mindset'.

Taliban

The enemy force Ben and his fellow Royal Marines encountered in Afghanistan, responsible for planting the IED that injured Ben and his team.

Companies

YouTube

The platform where Ben saw a Royal Marines advert that became the catalyst for him to change his life, leave his drug addiction, and pursue his childhood dream.

Lupin

Ben's tech company, which aims to provide a platform for employees to openly communicate how they are feeling, helping businesses identify early warning signs of morale issues and prevent losing good people.

Concepts

ARA Framework

An acronym developed by Ben, standing for 'Accept, Remove, Adapt,' used as a quick framework to deal with adversity by accepting the situation, removing unwanted emotions, and adapting to new circumstances.

SIA licence

The Security Industry Authority (SIA) license, required to work as a bouncer in the UK, which Ben obtained at 17.5 years old to pursue a 'macho alpha male lifestyle'.

People

Jordan Peterson

Mentioned by the host in the context of a 'purposelessness epidemic' sweeping the world, causing declining life expectancy and increased opioid addiction.

Gareth Southgate

The manager of the England football team who brought his team to the Royal Marines training center to learn about their mindset and values before the 2018 World Cup.

Harry Kane

The captain of the England football team, whom Ben had a 'surreal moment' sharing a cup of tea with, discussing what it's like to score in front of 80,000 people and what warfare is like.

Software & Apps

Slack

A communication platform that Lupin integrates with, allowing employees to respond to mood checks within their existing workflow.

Microsoft Teams

A communication platform that Lupin integrates with, allowing employees to respond to mood checks within their existing workflow, similar to Slack.

Locations

Milton Keynes

The town where Ben lived and was working as a bouncer when the tragic incident occurred, and where he later returned before joining the military.

Books

Commando Mindset: A Guide for the Modern Leader

Ben Williams's book, which he wrote to help people understand and implement the principles of the commando mindset in their own lives, particularly focusing on the journey to overcome initial challenges.

Happy Sexy Millionaire

A book authored by the host, Steven Bartlett, which he describes as the most important thing he's ever created, recounting his life, journey, and lessons learned about happiness and success.

Products

Frag grenades

Short for fragmentation grenades, mentioned as the cause of injury to five soldiers during an operation in 2011, highlighting the dangers of combat.