What is the 'thin slice assessment' and how quickly do humans make judgments?

Thin-slice assessment is a concept from Dr. Ambati's research at Harvard, showing that humans can make surprisingly accurate judgments about others from as little as three milliseconds of observation. This rapid assessment is often as accurate as judgments made after much longer exposure, indicating our hardwired ability to quickly read nonverbal cues.

How can I use 'synchrony' to improve my communication and influence?

Synchrony, which leads to harmony, involves mirroring the nonverbal behaviors, speech patterns, and even clothing choices of the person you're interacting with. This creates a psychological bond and makes people more receptive to your message. It's not about crude mimicry, but subtle alignment to foster comfort and connection.

What does touching the suprasternal notch (neck dimple) indicate?

Touching or covering the suprasternal notch, the indentation at the base of the throat, is a common self-soothing behavior that indicates a lack of confidence, insecurity, fear, or apprehension. It's considered the most vulnerable part of the body, and covering it is an ancient, hardwired protective response, similar to how large felines attack the neck.

What are key strategies for improving negotiation skills?

Effective negotiation is viewed as 'effective communication with a purpose.' Key strategies include planning interviews/meetings in exquisite detail (seating, breaks, who speaks), not rising to aggression but controlling time, and understanding the other party's style and fears. Ultimately, the goal is to build psychological comfort, not necessarily to 'win' every point aggressively.

Does height impact perception of leadership and success?

Yes, there is a 'height dividend,' a universal phenomenon where taller individuals are perceived to have an advantage. Research shows a disproportionately higher percentage of CEOs are 6'2" or taller compared to the general population. This perception of height and occupying space contributes to an impression of power and confidence.

How can I train myself to be more confident?

Confidence can be trained by first mastering one small thing, whether it's a skill, a task, or a particular area of knowledge. Once confident in one area, it becomes easier to build confidence in others. Additionally, cultivating deep knowledge of any subject you're discussing, adopting confident postures, using a deeper command voice, and speaking with cadence can all project confidence.

Why is speaking with cadence important for influence?

Speaking with cadence, like historical figures such as Churchill or Martin Luther King Jr., makes people listen, process information, and attach emotion to your words. It establishes control over the conversation, and the pauses allow the listener to absorb the message and its underlying authority. It's a powerful way to make your communication more impactful and persuasive.

What are the five traits of exceptional individuals?

Joe Navarro identifies five traits: Self-Mastery (pursuing knowledge and skill independently), Observation (attentively noticing details about people, events, and opportunities), Nonverbal Communication (using nonverbals effectively to show care and empathy), Action (acting promptly and efficiently to demonstrate engagement), and Psychological Comfort (creating an environment where others feel secure and heard).

How do I create psychological comfort in interactions with others?

Psychological comfort starts with basic pro-social acts, such as welcoming someone, offering them a drink, or creating a calm, quiet environment. It also involves listening attentively, allowing people to tell their side of the story, and being attentive to their needs, wants, desires, and preferences. It's about making others feel safe and valued, even when disagreements arise, and aiming for mutually agreeable solutions.

What is the best way to deal with a malignant narcissist or toxic personality?

The primary advice is to recognize what you're dealing with, as malignant narcissists overvalue themselves, devalue others, and lack loyalty or empathy. They are inherently flawed and will victimize those around them. Winning or changing them is unlikely; the recommended course of action is to set a timeframe for tolerance and then get out of the situation as soon as possible to avoid immense physical, mental, and financial suffering.

What are the long-term effects of law enforcement or dealing with trauma?

Working in law enforcement exposes individuals to trauma, such as homicides, suicides, and abductions. Joe Navarro notes that the brain's hippocampus retains negative experiences, explaining why post-traumatic stress is difficult to overcome and trauma can weigh on a person for decades. However, focusing on positive interactions and mentoring younger generations can provide hope and balance.

Former FBI Agent: If They Do This Please RUN! Narcissists Favourite Trick To Control You!

The Diary Of A CEO

People & Blogs3 min read146 min video

Apr 21, 2025|4,388,175 views|105,374|5,277

The Diary Of A CEO steven bartlett steve bartlett podcast the diary of a CEO podcast life lessons CEO

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Key Moments

TL;DR

FBI expert Joe Navarro shares insights on reading body language, detecting deception, and negotiation.

Key Insights

Body language and non-verbal cues are crucial for understanding emotions, detecting deception, and effective communication.

Confidence can be trained and developed through consistent practice and focusing on small areas of mastery.

Negotiation is about effective communication with a purpose, focusing on building rapport and controlling time.

Understanding psychological comfort is key in negotiations and relationships; it fosters trust and receptiveness.

Narcissistic traits are distinct from self-belief and often involve devaluing others; recognizing and distancing from such individuals is crucial.

Self-mastery, observation, effective communication (primarily non-verbal), action, and creating psychological comfort are vital for personal and professional growth.

THE POWER OF NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

Joe Navarro, a former FBI agent with 25 years of experience, emphasizes the profound impact of body language and non-verbal cues in human interaction. He explains that from infancy, humans communicate and interpret feelings and intentions through these signals. Understanding these cues provides a significant advantage in various life situations, from personal relationships to high-stakes negotiations, allowing for faster perception and better decision-making.

DEVELOPING CONFIDENCE AND MASTERY

Navarro asserts that confidence is not an innate trait but a skill that can be cultivated. He suggests starting by mastering one small area, whether it's a physical action or a piece of knowledge, and building upon that success. This gradual process fosters self-assurance, which can then be applied to other aspects of life. True confidence, he notes, often stems from deep knowledge and competence in a subject, leading to a more grounded and commanding presence.

THE ART OF NEGOTIATION AND COMMUNICATION

Negotiation, according to Navarro, is essentially effective communication with a clear purpose. It involves understanding the other party's needs, desires, and fears, often revealed through non-verbal signals. Key strategies include controlling time, mirroring behaviors (subtly), and creating psychological comfort. He advises against responding to aggression with aggression, instead advocating for slowing down the pace to regain control and ensure equitable communication.

UNDERSTANDING DECEPTION AND DANGEROUS PERSONALITIES

Navarro draws on his FBI experience to discuss identifying deception and dangerous personalities, particularly narcissists. He highlights that narcissism involves overvaluing oneself while devaluing others, often accompanied by lying and a lack of empathy. He stresses the importance of recognizing these traits early, noting that prolonged exposure to toxic individuals can be detrimental, and advises disengagement when possible, as changing such personalities is highly unlikely.

THE IMPORTANCE OF OBSERVATION AND PSYCHOLOGICAL COMFORT

Effective observation is a critical skill that goes beyond mere noticing; it's about interpreting subtle cues and understanding context. Navarro connects this to creating psychological comfort, which is fundamental for building trust and rapport. Whether in business negotiations or personal interactions, providing comfort—through attentiveness, empathy, and a non-threatening demeanor—makes others more receptive and fosters stronger connections, proving more influential than words alone.

SELF-MASTERY AND CONTINUOUS LEARNING

Navarro champions self-mastery and a commitment to continuous learning as core elements of an exceptional life. He emphasizes adopting skills and knowledge from the world around us, rather than reinventing the wheel. This pursuit of knowledge, driven by intrinsic curiosity, enriches one's life and contributes to personal growth, enabling individuals to navigate complex situations with greater confidence and insight.

THE PRIMACY OF NON-VERBALS AND ACTION

Communication, Navarro argues, is primarily non-verbal, transcending cultural barriers and conveying deeper meaning than words. Actions, too, speak volumes, with speed and attentiveness signaling care and engagement. He uses examples like the science behind Velcro and the importance of immediate responses to demonstrate how observation coupled with decisive action can lead to significant innovations and stronger relationships, highlighting that how we act is often more indicative of our true feelings than what we say.

EMBRACING HUMAN CONNECTION IN A DIGITAL AGE

In an increasingly digital world, Navarro stresses the lost art of genuine human connection. He believes his work helps people reconnect with their evolved behaviors and understand the importance of empathy and clear communication. This focus on connection, he suggests, is the ultimate differentiator for success, as all professions ultimately involve interacting with people. This understanding is crucial for building lasting relationships and achieving personal and professional goals.

Mentioned in This Episode

●Products

●Software & Apps

●Companies

●Organizations

●Books

●Concepts

●People Referenced

Nonverbal Communication for Confidence and Influence

Practical takeaways from this episode

Do This

Mirror others' nonverbals and speech patterns to build synchrony and harmony.

Practice steeple gestures (fingers pressed together, palms separated) for confidence and emphasis.

Plan negotiations in detail, considering seating, who speaks first, and offering drinks to establish control.

Use a deeper, commanding voice and speak with cadence to project authority and ensure listeners process your message.

Spread your fingers out when expressing care or importance to potentiate the message.

Maintain appropriate eye contact, focusing on the face, and look away periodically while thinking.

Be confident in one small area of competence, then build from there; acquire extensive knowledge on subjects you discuss.

Act quickly to demonstrate care and pro-social intent (e.g., moving quickly to shake hands).

Actively observe people, events, and opportunities, as good observers can identify problems and trends.

Prioritize psychological comfort in interactions and negotiations by creating a quiet, relaxed environment and allowing others to voice their perspective.

Set boundaries and have an exit strategy when dealing with toxic or narcissistic individuals.

Avoid This

Do not rise to aggression in negotiations; instead, take control of time by slowing things down.

Avoid holding a 'still face' in meetings or virtual calls, as it's perceived as threatening and untrustworthy.

Do not use your finger to point; instead, use an open hand in the vertical position.

Avoid touching or rubbing your neck (specifically the suprasternal notch) or ventilating behaviors, as they transmit weakness and insecurity.

Do not mimic others' behaviors excessively to avoid seeming ridiculous.

Avoid reducing emotional exchanges in communication; instead, vent emotions and allow time for processing.

Do not constantly write notes during conversations, as it detracts from observing and genuine facial interaction.

Do not perform aggressive or overly tight handshakes (e.g., the 'Donald Trump' squeeze); use equal pressure with fingers low.

Do not cup someone's hand aggressively; touch the upper arm if you wish to extend touch beyond a handshake.

Do not expect to 'win' or change a malignant narcissist; focus on self-protection and getting out of the situation.

Do not neglect nonverbal communication, as it is often more influential than words.

CEO Height and Narcissistic Traits Statistics

Data extracted from this episode

Category	Percentage of General Population	Percentage of Fortune 500 CEOs
Americans 6'2" or taller	3%	39%
Malignant Narcissists	2%	20-22%

Common Questions

FBI agents, particularly those in the behavioral analysis program, use deep understanding of nonverbal cues to identify deceptive behaviors. For example, Joe Navarro noticed a spy's cigarette shaking when a sensitive name was mentioned, indicating physiological change due to stress. They also look for subtle cultural differences, like how a person carries flowers, to identify 'illegals' masquerading as locals.

Topics

FBI Negotiation Skills Psychological Comfort Human Behavior Communication Theory

Mentioned in this video

productVelcro

An invention inspired by observing how plant burrs stick to clothing, highlighting the importance of observation.

personJoe Navarro

Former FBI agent, world-renowned body language expert, author, and teacher who specializes in decoding nonverbal communication.

organizationSAS

The Special Air Service, a special forces unit of the British Army, with whom Joe Navarro worked during his time in the FBI's SWAT team.

personRodrik James Ramsay

An American army sergeant and traitor who stole US Army military secrets, including nuclear go-codes, and sold them to the Soviet Union through Hungarian intelligence.

personClyde Lee Conrad

Co-conspirator with Rodrik James Ramsay in stealing military secrets from the US Army and selling them to the Soviet Union.

productThe Americans (TV series)

A television series that portrays the life of 'illegal' spies, mentioned as an example of what illegals are in espionage.

personDr. Ambati

A Harvard researcher (now deceased) whose work showed humans are 75% accurate in thin-slice assessments of each other from as little as three milliseconds.

personCarl Rogers

Pioneer in humanistic psychology whose work in the 1960s found that synchrony creates a psychological binding between people.

conceptJungian psychology

A psychological framework that involves archetypes and underscores the importance of dealing with negative emotions rather than suppressing them.

personDr. David Given

Taught Joe Navarro about 'paleo circuits' in the DNA that hardwire certain human reactions for survival.

bookLouder Than Words (book)

A book by Joe Navarro, encouraged by Brian Hall, that was discussed in the context of teaching effective communication.

productTed Matcha (drink)

Canned matcha lattes available in vanilla and strawberry flavors, offering barista-quality matcha with lasting energy without crashes.

bookNarcissists Among Us (book)

A book written by Joe Navarro in 2009 about understanding and dealing with narcissistic personalities.

organizationPsychology Today

A publication for which Joe Navarro has written, where he postulated on the reasons for facial touching as a stress-relief mechanism.

conceptStockholm syndrome

A psychological phenomenon observed during a 1970s bank robbery in Stockholm where hostages developed positive feelings towards their captors, demonstrating how individuals can become subservient to a dominant 'parent' figure.

organizationWired (magazine)

A publication for which Joe Navarro made a video discussing ways to exhibit and show confidence.

personAngela Merkel

Former German Chancellor, mentioned as someone who frequently used the 'steeple' gesture to convey confidence.

websiteJoeNavarro.net

Joe Navarro's personal website, which links to his YouTube channel and provides contact information for speaking engagements.

productThe Diary (journal)

A physical diary/journal designed to help individuals identify, focus on, and develop consistency with small, incremental improvements to their lives.

organizationFortune 500 companies

Large corporations mentioned in the context of CEO height statistics, indicating a height dividend in leadership roles.

bookDangerous Personalities (book)

A book by Joe Navarro containing checklists to identify dangerous personality traits like narcissism, paranoia, and psychopathy.

personRobert Hare

A researcher known for his work in defining psychopathy.

bookBe Exceptional (book)

One of Joe Navarro's books, recommended by the host for its accessibility and insights into exceptional human traits.

bookThe Body Keeps the Score

A book mentioned for its emphasis on the physical and psychological toll of being in proximity to toxic individuals.

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