What are common self-limiting beliefs people hold about their leadership abilities?

A common self-limiting belief is stating 'this is just the way I am,' as if one's identity is fixed and unchangeable. People might claim they 'can't listen' or 'can't do something,' which inhibits personal growth and makes behavioral changes feel inauthentic.

How does Marshall Goldsmith's coaching process incorporate feedback?

His coaching process involves obtaining confidential feedback from 18+ colleagues (peers, direct reports, board members). Leaders then discuss this feedback, apologize for past shortcomings, and ask for ideas for future improvement from those who provided input, committing to follow up systematically.

What is the biggest challenge for successful individuals transitioning into leadership?

A major challenge is 'winning too much.' Highly successful people are often accustomed to always being right and adding value, but in leadership, this can hinder team commitment and empower others. The transition requires learning to step back and empower the team.

How did J.P. Garnier, CEO of GlaxoSmithKline, learn about the impact of his suggestions?

J.P. Garnier learned that 'my suggestions become orders.' As CEO, his casual remarks were taken as directives, regardless of his intent. Marshall Goldsmith advised him to 'breathe and ask one question: Is it worth it?' before speaking, enabling him to choose when to offer input.

What did Marshall Goldsmith learn about coaching from Alan Mulally, former CEO of Ford?

Alan Mulally taught Marshall that the biggest challenge for a coach is 'customer selection.' Coaching is about the client's commitment to change, not the coach's ego or perceived expertise. Working with motivated clients leads to better outcomes.

What are the three essential components for a 'great life' beyond corporate success?

Beyond health, income, and good relationships, a great life requires alignment between aspirations (your 'why'), ambitions (your achievements), and day-to-day activities. It also emphasizes that personal value shouldn't be conditioned on outcomes, as happiness and achievement are independent variables.

How does one shift focus from outcomes to process, according to Marshall Goldsmith?

He advocates for the 'every breath paradigm,' which encourages letting go of past mistakes and future outcomes to focus on the present moment. This is similar to John Wooden's philosophy of doing your best in the process and 'hitting the shot in front of you,' rather than dwelling on winning or losing.

Why does Marshall Goldsmith say that leader's behavior has improved while feedback is worse?

Leaders today are generally more effective and less autocratic than in the past. However, employee expectations have risen significantly, and they have more choices, so they won't tolerate bad leadership. This increased expectation can make feedback seem more critical, even as leaders' actual behavior improves.

What is Marshall Goldsmith's advice for effective recognition in a remote or hybrid work environment?

He suggests making a list of important people and twice a week, checking if anyone did anything worthy of recognition. Send a short email or voicemail saying 'thank you.' This simple, disciplined act significantly improves perceived recognition. He also recommends asking people, 'What are you proud of?'

What are the three words that Marshall Goldsmith says kill conversations and how to avoid them?

The three words are 'no,' 'but,' and 'however.' Starting a sentence with 'no' shuts down discussion, and 'but' or 'however' nullify what was just said. To avoid them, he suggests pausing, breathing, and considering if the comment will improve commitment or the relationship.

What is the 'Daily Question Tool' and how can it help with personal improvement?

It's a free tool where you answer a series of 'Did I do my best to...' questions daily, recording yes/no or numerical scores. This provides a 'report card' at the end of the week, revealing discrepancies between aspirations and actual behavior. It fosters self-awareness and discipline, even for highly successful people.

Key Moments

Lessons from a Life of Leadership | Marshall Goldsmith | Knowledge Project 142

The Knowledge Project

People & Blogs4 min read95 min video

Jul 12, 2022|52,819 views|948|44

Shane Parrish Farnam Street The Knowledge Project Farnam Street Podcast Mental Models Marshall goldsmith the knowledge project leadership marshall goldsmith leadership marshall goldsmith how to be a good leader what got you here wont get you there leadership coach

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Key Moments

TL;DR

Leadership is about influencing others; self-awareness, continuous feedback, and process over outcome are key to growth.

Key Insights

Leadership is defined as working with and through others to achieve objectives.

Self-limiting beliefs, such as 'this is just the way I am,' hinder personal and professional growth.

Gaining confidence and changing perceptions requires consistent follow-up and demonstrated behavior change.

The "winning too much" syndrome prevents leaders from prioritizing relationships and adding value constructively.

True success involves aligning aspirations, achievements, and the daily enjoyment of life, rather than solely focusing on outcomes.

Empathy, while important, must be applied judiciously; the "empathy of doing" and "singular empathy" are crucial for effective leadership.

DEFINING LEADERSHIP AND OVERCOMING SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS

Marshall Goldsmith defines leadership not as a title, but as the act of "working with and through others to achieve objectives." He emphasizes that while leaders are born, their effectiveness can significantly be improved. A major hurdle to this improvement is self-limiting beliefs, often expressed as "this is just the way I am." Goldsmith argues that these beliefs inhibit growth and create a sense of inauthenticity even when behavior changes. He stresses the importance of addressing both self-perception and actual behavior to foster genuine change.

THE POWER OF FEEDBACK AND THE MECHANICS OF CHANGE

Goldsmith's coaching methodology relies heavily on confidential feedback from colleagues, peers, and subordinates. This feedback, though sometimes difficult to hear, forms the basis for identifying areas for improvement. The process involves thanking participants, acknowledging positive feedback, apologizing for shortcomings, and then actively seeking practical ideas for future improvement. Crucially, he highlights that change requires continuous follow-up. Leaders must consistently revisit the feedback and solicit ongoing input to shift others' perceptions, turning behavior change into lasting behavioral integration.

THE CHALLENGE OF TRANSITIONING TO LEADERSHIP: WINNING TOO MUCH

A significant challenge for successful individuals moving into leadership roles is the "winning too much" syndrome. Accustomed to proving their intelligence and being right, new leaders struggle to shift from individual achievement to influencing others. This manifests as a competitive drive that can damage relationships and an urge to constantly "add value" to others' ideas, thereby diminishing buy-in. Goldsmith advises leaders to breathe and consider "is it worth it?" before speaking, especially when their suggestions can be perceived as orders, thereby reducing commitment from their teams.

ACHIEVEMENT VERSUS HAPPINESS: FINDING ALIGNMENT

Goldsmith differentiates between aspirations, ambitions, and day-to-day activities, asserting that a great life arises from aligning these three elements. He critiques the Western emphasis on achievement as the sole measure of value, warning that it leads to a constant, unfulfilling pursuit of more. True happiness and a meaningful life, he suggests, are independent variables from achievement. Focusing on the process, finding meaning, cultivating positive relationships, and being present are more sustainable paths to fulfillment than solely chasing outcomes.

EMPATHY: NAVIGATING ITS COMPLEXITIES FOR EFFECTIVE LEADERSHIP

Goldsmith explores four types of empathy: understanding, feeling, caring, and doing. While all can be beneficial, excessive empathy can be detrimental. The "empathy of understanding" can be used for manipulation, "feeling" pain can be overwhelming, and "caring" too much can stifle effectiveness. The most vital form is "empathy of doing," which involves taking action. He advocates for "singular empathy," where a leader adapts their approach based on the immediate situation and person, rather than carrying past emotional baggage or projecting a constant heroic persona.

MASTERING COMMUNICATION AND THE POWER OF THE PRESENT MOMENT

Effective communication hinges on listening and empathy, but also on avoiding conversation-killing phrases like "no," "but," and "however." Goldsmith implements a system where clients pay a penalty for using these words, reinforcing the importance of open dialogue. He also stresses the necessity of being present and engaged in every interaction, especially in the virtual era. Leaders must consciously manage their environment and internal triggers, dedicating just three minutes a day to self-reflection using structured questions to track progress towards their values and goals.

LETTING GO OF THE PAST AND EMBRACING THE PRESENT

Goldsmith encourages embracing the 'every breath paradigm,' where each breath signifies a new beginning, free from past mistakes. He advises against living in the past or dwelling on regrets, promoting the idea of continuously "turning the page" after each day. This philosophy extends to leadership, where leaders cannot afford to be stuck in past glories or failures. The focus must always be on the present task and the immediate future, allowing for adaptation and resilience in the face of life's inevitable challenges and opportunities.

THE ESSENCE OF SUCCESS AND ADVICE FOR A BETTER LIFE

Ultimately, Goldsmith defines success as the alignment of life aspirations, achievements, and the enjoyment of the process, regardless of outcomes. Drawing wisdom from his 95-year-old-self perspective, he offers key advice: be happy now, prioritize friends and family over career climbs, and pursue dreams without fear of judgment. He emphasizes that helping others is a profound source of pride and that taking calculated risks is more rewarding than living with regret. The core message is to live intentionally, focusing on making a positive difference and enjoying the journey.

Mentioned in This Episode

●Software & Apps

●Companies

●Organizations

●Books

●People Referenced

Common Questions

Marshall Goldsmith defines leadership as working with and through others to achieve objectives. The key word is 'others,' emphasizing collaboration rather than individual effort. He notes that anyone with basic qualities can be a leader and enhance their effectiveness.

Topics

Self-Limiting Beliefs

Mentioned in this video

organizationDartmouth Tuck School

A business school where Marshall Goldsmith taught a class where he gave the example of 'winning too much' in a relationship.

personJames Downing

Head of St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.

companyGlaxoSmithKline

A large drug company where J.P. Garnier served as CEO.

organizationPartners in Health

An organization associated with Jim Kim, where he saved 22 million lives.

personHubert Joly

Former CEO of Best Buy, a spectacular leader who successfully turned the company around.

bookChief Executive Magazine

Magazine where Marshall Goldsmith wrote an article about leadership feedback and standards.

personRoosevelt Thomas

World's expert on diversity, to whom Marshall Goldsmith's new book is dedicated, teaching him about different referent groups and job requirements.

personJim Rao

A billionaire client of Marshall Goldsmith who donated 340 million dollars to charity in India yet struggled with losing small amounts of money because he was 'winning'.

bookWhat Got You Here Won't Get You There

Marshall Goldsmith's book that was covered by the New York Post.

personPaul Hersey

Marshall Goldsmith's old mentor who taught him not to get into semantic debates and to define what you mean and leave it at that.

softwareMarshallGoldsmith.com

Marshall Goldsmith's email domain mentioned for sending research copies.

companyRussell Investments

Company whose head was part of Marshall Goldsmith's COVID support group.

companyBudweiser

Beer company mentioned as an example of how marketing uses understanding (empathy type) to manipulate consumers into buying products through emotional ads.

organizationSt. Jude Children's Hospital San Diego

Hospital where Marshall Goldsmith and Telly Leung volunteered to teach empathy.

bookBeyond Freedom and Dignity

A book by B.F. Skinner, which argues that people are primarily controlled by their environment.

personJ.P. Garnier

Former CEO of GlaxoSmithKline and a coaching client of Marshall Goldsmith, who learned the lesson 'my suggestions become orders'.

personAlbert Bourla

CEO of Pfizer, noted for his work during the pandemic, including the development of a vaccine.

personFrances Hesselbein

Recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, described by Peter Drucker as the greatest leader he ever met.

personAshish Chadha

Nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, a client of Marshall Goldsmith.

bookThe Earned Life

Marshall Goldsmith's new book, discussed in the interview, which focuses on life lessons and the meaning of success beyond corporate achievement.

personCurtis Martin

NFL all-star, part of Marshall Goldsmith's COVID support group.

personTelly Leung

A Broadway star known for playing Aladdin, part of Marshall Goldsmith's COVID support group, and later helped teach empathy.

personMargo Georgiadis

Former CEO of Ancestry.com and Mattel, who sold Ancestry to Blackstone, and was part of Marshall Goldsmith's group.

bookTriggers

Marshall Goldsmith's book about how environmental stimuli impact behavior and how to regain control.

personThe Kardashians

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