Key Moments
If Life Is a Long Performance, Are We Still Playing Ourselves? | TIANCHI LIU | TEDxThe Bund Women
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Key Moments
Life is a performance without a script, and achieving "high moments" often leads to self-diminishment. The speaker suggests embracing "ordinary moments" through simple exercises like touching your toes to reconnect with oneself.
Key Insights
High moments, while offering recognition and expanded experiences, can lead to feeling bound by external expectations and a loss of self, as seen by the inability to set personal vacation time.
The "mass theater" course uses drama to help ordinary women, not aspiring actresses, to "open themselves up, reconnect with themselves, and have better conversations with themselves."
A participant, initially insecure about her appearance and lacking family encouragement, found her personal "high moment" by wearing a dress she had owned for years and bravely declaring, "I really like this dress of mine!"
A basic relaxation exercise where participants imagine themselves sinking into an ocean and hugging their own feet can evoke primal emotions, described as "coming home" rather than sadness.
The speaker proposes the bathroom as a "charging station" for a "mid-show break," using sensory experiences like hot water, sound, and scent to reconnect with one's body.
Life as a performance with unpredictable outcomes
The speaker, Tianchi Liu, an actress, director, and performance educator, frames life as a lengthy, unscripted performance with no retakes or do-overs. This metaphor prompts a profound question: can we truly 'play ourselves' well? This reflection intensified for her in mid-life, leading her to ponder what constitutes a successful or failed performance within life's grand stage. Even while standing on a TEDx stage, she admits to continually questioning how to define success, failure, and how to navigate between the spotlight and everyday existence. Her own journey brought her into the public eye unexpectedly after a 2017 TV show, shifting her from the comfortable, controlled environment of a rehearsal room with students to being 'seen' by the masses.
The double-edged nature of the spotlight
Liu describes the allure of 'high moments'—those times when one is recognized and in the spotlight. While initially exhilarating and validating, she discovered that prolonged exposure to this light has a dual nature. On one hand, being seen creates a sense of responsibility and an intrinsic drive to perform better, pushing boundaries and broadening horizons to new people and experiences. On the other hand, this constant visibility can become a form of confinement. Liu likens it to being in a race where the finish line is unclear, yet one feels compelled to keep running, losing the right to express exhaustion. This pressure leads to an increasing focus on external validation, transforming one into the 'problem-solver' others expect, to the point where personal time feels folded and space becomes occupied. This push and pull, while bringing satisfaction, can also lead to a gradual erosion of self.
Rediscovering oneself through applied theater
Liu's own studio offers a 'mass theater' course, not for aspiring actors, but for individuals seeking to use drama as a tool for self-discovery and reconnection. She advocates for everyone to experience theater, particularly applied drama, which uses theatrical games and creativity to foster self-connection, release, and better self-dialogue. She has encountered women from diverse backgrounds in her workshops—single mothers navigating trauma, professionals under high pressure, recent graduates facing career uncertainty, and female entrepreneurs. They share their vulnerabilities and stories, offering Liu insights into herself. She emphasizes that the workshop space is a 'rehearsal room' where all expressions are valid: shouting, crying, and perhaps rediscovering one's 'high-moment self'.
Redefining 'high moments' beyond public acclaim
The speaker challenges the conventional view of 'high moments' as solely representing public success or standing in the spotlight. She shares the story of a 40-year-old participant in her mass theater class who, despite owning a beautiful dress, felt too insecure about her appearance and lacked family encouragement to wear it. This dress remained hidden in her closet for years. When the class rehearsed a segment from Bertolt Brecht's 'The Good Person of Szechwan,' the participant secured a significant role. A month later, she made a brave decision: she wore the dress to the performance. Walking onto the stage with confidence, she declared, 'I really like this dress of mine!' In that instant, she experienced her own unique, valuable, and deeply personal 'high moment.' This experience taught her that everyone has a stage and the potential to shine, regardless of age or past neglect.
Reconnecting with the body through simple sensory exercises
Liu highlights a foundational exercise in her performance classes: relaxation. The first session often involves participants lying down and imagining themselves in a gentle ocean, shedding identities, pressures, and roles as they sink. She then guides them to touch their toes with their hands and embrace themselves like infants. This simple act, surprisingly, elicits strong emotional responses, with some participants crying softly amidst the sound of waves. Liu notes that as adults, hands are for doing and feet are for walking, becoming mere tools. However, connecting these intimate body parts through touch can reawaken a primal sense of safety and softness. This exercise, devoid of dialogue or plot, helps individuals return to their original state, facilitating a reunion with the self. It underscores the importance of connecting with one's body in the 'ordinary,' non-spotlight moments.
The importance of 'ordinary moments' for self-connection
Moments of 'ordinary' existence, Liu argues, are actually our norm and crucial for self-discovery. She shares her own experience on a high-speed train, deliberately putting her phone away to observe the passing scenery—vegetation, villages, houses, and animals. This simple act provided a sense of refreshment. She advocates for connecting with the world through various senses—seeing, hearing, smelling, and touching—as our modern lives often become a relentless pursuit of goals, with little time for perception. The constant 'running' leaves us feeling like we have superhuman abilities. She observes that many women, including herself, tend to be overly strong, avoiding expression and vulnerability, which can lead to losing the capacity to process emotions when faced with life's difficulties. This 'over-strength' is a greater danger than weakness itself.
Finding a 'mid-show break' in the daily routine
Drawing a parallel to theatrical 'mid-show breaks,' which are crucial for actors to recharge, Liu suggests that our lives also need these respites. She proposes the bathroom as a private, safe, and free space for such a break. Instead of a quick shower, she intentionally extends this time to engage her senses—the warmth of the water activating touch, the sound of water opening hearing, and the scent of shower gel awakening smell. In this space, she can directly and authentically connect with her body, sometimes by singing or imagining herself in various scenarios. This intentional pause, even a few minutes of mindful attention, allows for self-recharge, leading to a more vibrant and energized state for the rest of the day. This practice helps combat the feeling of unreality in life, which arises from a lack of actual perception and engagement with our experiences.
Embracing our authentic roles and creating our vital selves
Liu concludes by emphasizing that life's script requires 'blank spaces,' 'breathing room,' and 'processes,' not just a series of conflicts. The goal is to move from playing roles out of obligation—to work, family, or society—to truly embodying our roles as active participants and masters of our lives. By consciously engaging with our inner selves, we can fluidly transition between 'high moments' and 'ordinary moments.' Ordinary is not a negative term; it is a chosen state of being, distinct from being 'unremarkable.' High and ordinary are not opposing forces but are symbiotic. Referencing Shakespeare's 'All the world's a stage,' Liu reiterates that life stages are temporary, and each person has their own stage where they should play authentic roles. This involves accepting our tears and flaws, alongside our genuine, perhaps clumsy, sincerity. Ultimately, she encourages everyone to create, to play, and to embrace the most vibrant and dynamic role they can be in life.
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Navigating Life's Roles and Finding Your Authentic Self
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Common Questions
Playing ourselves means acting authentically and true to our inner selves, rather than performing roles dictated by external expectations or societal pressures. It involves embracing our unique qualities, including our vulnerabilities and imperfections.
Topics
Mentioned in this video
A famous German playwright and theatre director whose work, 'The Good Person of Szechwan,' was used as a segment for an applied theater class.
Mentioned for his quote about the world being a stage and all men and women merely players, used to illustrate the idea of life's stages and roles.
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