Key Moments

Erin Frey on Therapy

Y CombinatorY Combinator
Science & Technology4 min read8 min video
Jun 2, 2017|1,301 views|23
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TL;DR

Startup founders experience stress and anxiety that impacts their work, but therapy can help them manage these emotions and improve decision-making, though accessing effective mental healthcare remains a challenge.

Key Insights

1

Stress and anxiety significantly hampered the speaker's ability to do good work, leading to slower and worse decision-making, increased agitation, and a lack of confidence.

2

Therapy is described as a scientifically proven process that changes brain function for the better, involving goal setting, identifying thought patterns, and learning emotional navigation skills.

3

A specific technique taught in therapy involves challenging negative thoughts by examining evidence and considering the "worst-case scenario" to reduce fear of failure, exemplified by preparing for a pitch meeting.

4

The speaker experienced immediate relief from therapy due to having a safe space to discuss problems and the assurance of being on a path to improvement.

5

Founders face predictable patterns of stress, anxiety, and pressure, making early intervention with a therapist beneficial for navigating these challenges.

6

The speaker advocates for viewing therapy similarly to other healthcare check-ups, such as dentist or doctor visits, emphasizing the brain as a founder's most critical asset.

Startup stress significantly impacts executive function and decision-making

Erin Frey, co-founder and CEO of Kip, a startup facilitating access to therapy, shares her personal experience with the detrimental effects of stress and anxiety on her professional life. She describes waking up anxious, consumed by the day's unfinished tasks, which impaired her ability to think clearly and make sound decisions. This mental toll also led to slower decision-making, increased agitation, and frequent conflicts with her co-founder. Furthermore, Frey noted a significant decline in her confidence, rendering her rattled by situations that previously posed no issue. She emphasizes that as a startup founder, where every day counts, a sustained period of poor performance, even a few bad weeks in a row, can be catastrophic. This realization underscored the irony of running a company that helps others with mental health while neglecting her own.

Therapy as a tool for cognitive and emotional retraining

Frey explains therapy as a scientifically validated method for improving brain function. The process typically begins with a session to establish a collaborative goal, though clients may initially feel unclear about their specific issues, simply feeling 'off.' A therapist helps identify underlying problems, such as Frey's initial focus on confidence, which was actually a symptom of overwhelming stress and anxiety preventing her 'true self' from emerging. Subsequent weekly or bi-weekly sessions focus on understanding one's thought patterns, emotional responses, and daily behaviors—distinguishing between helpful and harmful ones. Therapists equip individuals with tools and skills to better navigate emotions, manage thoughts, and ultimately live a more desired life.

Challenging the fear of failure through cognitive reframing

A common challenge for founders is the intense fear of failure, often accompanied by negative self-talk. Frey illustrates this with a scenario of driving to an important pitch meeting, where the mind might conjure fears of failure and the startup's demise. Therapy provides frameworks to address such thoughts preemptively. This involves examining the evidence for these fears—reminding oneself of successful pitches, positive investor feedback, or the strength of the startup—and questioning the validity of the negative predictions. Additionally, therapists encourage contemplating the 'worst-case scenario.' For instance, if a specific pitch fails, it means not getting an investment from one investor, not the end of the world, and provides an opportunity to seek out others. This structured approach helps founders reframe their perspective and reduce overwhelming anxiety.

Immediate benefits: relief and a path toward recovery

Frey experienced two immediate benefits from therapy. First, she found immense relief in having a designated safe space to discuss problems that she couldn't or didn't want to share with her co-founder, family, or friends. This 'safety net' was invaluable. Second, she gained comfort from the knowledge that she was actively working towards improvement. Six weeks prior, she felt desperate to recover capacity and return to her 'kick-ass self.' Trusting the therapeutic process provided hope and a sense of progress, alleviating some immediate distress.

Long-term impact: enhanced cognitive perspective

As therapy progressed and her anxiety and stress levels decreased, Frey noticed a significant improvement in her thinking. Problems that once appeared as insurmountable 'behemoths' and predisposed her to failure began to be reframed as exciting challenges. This shift in perspective mirrored her initial mindset when she started Kip a year prior. She anticipates further benefits as she continues her therapy journey, highlighting its ongoing value.

Prioritizing mental health as a strategic investment for founders

Frey strongly advocates for all individuals, especially founders, to have a therapist. While acknowledging therapy's crucial role for those experiencing persistent stress, anxiety, depression, or low moods, she regrets not starting sooner. Founders are particularly susceptible to predictable patterns of stress and pressure. The faster they seek help to navigate these challenges, the better. She envisions a future where mental health care, including therapy, is as routine as dental cleanings or annual physicals. For founders, their brain is their most critical asset and arguably their most important 'muscle.' Investing in its optimal functioning through therapy leads to becoming a better founder, person, and leader in the long run.

Common Questions

The CEO started therapy because stress and anxiety were significantly impacting her ability to perform well at work, leading to reduced clarity, worse decision-making, agitation, and a notable lack of confidence.

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