Key Moments
#1 Career Coach: You’re Building A Life You Don’t Actually Want! (Do This Instead)
Codie SanchezKey Moments
Following your passion is bad advice unless you're good at it. Suzy Welch's framework combines passion, aptitude, and values for a life that truly works, but only 2% of people live their values.
Key Insights
The advice to 'follow your passion' is flawed; a fulfilling life requires a synthesis of passion, aptitude, and values.
Gen Z's top values (eudaimonia, voice, agency) clash with hiring managers' top values (achievement, work-centrism, scope), resulting in only 2% of Gen Z possessing the values employers seek.
The 10-10-10 decision-making framework helps evaluate choices by considering consequences in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years, urging individuals to align decisions with their core values.
Only 2% of the population actively lives their values, with 14% being 'thresholders' who are close, indicating a widespread 'authenticity gap'.
True leadership requires 'nerve' (stamina, edge, candor), 'elasticity' (absorbing change, strong relationships), and 'soundness' (emotional well-being, accountability), alongside 'wonderment' (curiosity about future technology).
Fear of failure is the number one reason people don't achieve their desired lives, yet embracing failure is crucial for growth and becoming part of the 'society of interesting people'.
Why 'following your passion' is terrible advice
Suzy Welch argues that the popular advice to 'follow your passion' is misguided and often leads to disappointment. She proposes a more robust framework for building a fulfilling life that rests on three pillars: passion (your interests), aptitude (what you're good at), and values (your core beliefs). While passion is important, it's insufficient on its own. If you're passionate about something but lack the aptitude, or if it doesn't align with your values, it's unlikely to lead to sustained success or happiness. Welch emphasizes that it's 'actually easier in life if you're doing what you're good at,' and that a life built on this synthesis is more likely to be sustainable and rewarding than one chasing a singular, ungrounded passion. This foundational understanding sets the stage for a more pragmatic approach to career and life planning.
The Values Bridge: Uncovering your core drivers
To address the confusion around identifying one's aptitudes and values, Welch developed the 'Values Bridge' tool. This scientifically validated assessment, taken by over 200,000 people, ranks 16 core values and measures how well individuals are living them. This data reveals significant generational differences in values. For Gen Z, the top values are 'eudaimonia' (flourishing, happiness, work-life balance), followed by 'voice' (authentic self-expression) and 'agency' (self-determination). This is in stark contrast to hiring managers, who prioritize 'achievement,' 'work-centrism,' and 'scope' (learning, adventure, travel). The data shows a critical disconnect, with only 2% of Gen Z possessing the values that employers are actively seeking, explaining why many young people feel bewildered about not getting hired. Conversely, top-performing executives rank 'achievement' and 'belonging' (collaboration) as their top values, highlighting a different set of priorities for career success.
The 10-10-10 framework for better decision-making
Welch developed the 10-10-10 decision-making system to combat the common reliance on gut feelings, especially during stressful periods. The framework involves evaluating a decision's potential consequences not just immediately, but also in 10 months (the foreseeable future) and 10 years (the life you want to create). This simple yet powerful tool forces a deeper consideration of options and their long-term impacts, aligning choices with one's core values. Welch shared a personal anecdote about a disastrous trip to Hawaii that led to her creating this system, emphasizing that desperation can birth innovation. The 10-10-10 framework, now taught at institutions like Harvard and NYU, serves as a 'sorting mechanism' to avoid boneheaded mistakes and build a life that truly aligns with one's aspirations. It’s particularly effective when combined with a clear understanding of personal values, acting as a 'North Star' for navigating life's complexities.
Discernment: The human element AI can't replicate
In an era increasingly shaped by artificial intelligence, Welch distinguishes decision-making from 'discernment.' While AI can aggregate vast amounts of data and suggest options, it cannot make decisions based on personal values. Discernment, she explains, is elevated decision-making that integrates values into the process. AI can simulate choices, but it cannot replicate the human capacity for making the *right* decision for oneself. This ability to choose based on deeply held values is a critical skill that AI cannot replace, making discernment an essential trait for navigating the future of work and life.
The harsh reality: Few people truly live their values
The data from the Values Bridge is sobering: a mere 2% of the population is classified as 'transcendents,' meaning they are fully living their values. Another 14% are 'thresholders,' who are close but still have an authenticity gap. The vast majority, the 'incongruent,' experience a significant disconnect between their values and their lived reality, often reporting immense pain or a lack of direction. This widespread 'authenticity gap' underscores the difficulty many face in understanding and aligning their lives with who they truly are. This exploration of values is often emotionally charged, with Welch's classes being known as 'the class where everyone cries' because students are confronting their true selves for the first time.
Defining true leadership: Nerve, elasticity, and soundness
Welch outlines key traits for effective leadership in today's rapidly changing world, using her 'Career Traits Compass' framework. 'Nerve' is paramount, encompassing stamina, the ability to make decisions with incomplete information ('edge'), and radical candor. 'Elasticity' involves absorbing and anticipating change, as well as building genuine relationships with diverse individuals. 'Soundness' refers to emotional well-being, self-awareness, resilience, and accountability, crucial for supporting employee well-being, especially in challenging times. Finally, 'wonderment' goes beyond mere curiosity; it's about actively engaging with emerging technologies and anticipating future trends. While some traits, like stamina, may have physiological components, many, like building relationships and developing edge, can be improved through practice, offering hope for aspiring leaders.
The power of failure: Embracing the 'society of interesting people'
The number one reason people fail to achieve the lives they want is fear, particularly the fear of failure. Welch reframes failure not as an endpoint, but as an essential catalyst for growth and for becoming part of the 'society of interesting people.' She shares her personal experience of being fired from The Wall Street Journal, a profound failure that initially seemed devastating. However, through reframing and support, she came to see that experiencing setbacks and learning to 'get back up' makes one more interesting and resilient. Successful individuals, she notes, often bond over their failures and comebacks, not their successes. Embracing this perspective encourages taking big swings, knowing that even if one falls, the experience provides valuable lessons and transforms into a richer, more interesting life.
Practical steps to discover yourself
To guide individuals in understanding themselves, Welch recommends excavating three key data sets: values, aptitudes, and interests. First, identifying and understanding one's values—choices about how to live life, not mere virtues—is crucial. This involves using tools like the Values Bridge to rank order values and identify gaps between what is valued and what is lived. Second, exploring aptitudes requires looking beyond narrow definitions; it includes cognitive abilities (how your brain is wired, set by age 15) and personality (how the world experiences you), necessitating 360-degree feedback. Third, understanding one's interests, whether broad or specific, is vital for aligning daily activities with a sense of purpose. This self-discovery process is challenging but essential for building a life that feels authentic and works for the individual.
Mentioned in This Episode
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Building a Life You Want: A Practical Guide
Practical takeaways from this episode
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Gen Z Values vs. Hiring Manager Values
Data extracted from this episode
| Category | Gen Z Top Values | Hiring Manager Top Values |
|---|---|---|
| Top Value 1 | Eudaimonia (Flourishing, Happiness, Balance) | Achievement (Desire to win) |
| Top Value 2 | Voice (Authentic Self-Expression) | Belonging (Collaboration, Community) |
| Top Value 3 | Agency (Self-Determination) | Work Centricism (Desire to work) |
Values of Top Performing Executives
Data extracted from this episode
| Rank | Value | Gen Z Rank |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Achievement | Not explicitly stated, but implied lower than managers' |
| 2 | Belonging (Collaboration, Community) | 8 |
| 3 | Work Centricism | 15 |
Authenticity Gap: Percentage of Population Living Their Values
Data extracted from this episode
| Category | Percentage of Population | Description |
|---|---|---|
| Transcendents | ~2% | Fully living their values. |
| Thresholders | ~14% (12%-20% gap) | Getting close to living their values. |
| Incongruent | Majority | Significant authenticity gap, experiencing pain. |
Common Questions
The most common mistake is blindly following passion without considering aptitude and values. Suzy Welch suggests a synthesis of all three is crucial for long-term career satisfaction.
Topics
Mentioned in this video
Best-selling author and professor at NYU, specializing in career and values.
A civil rights activist and investment banker who offered Suzy Welch perspective on failure.
Suzy Welch's boss at O, The Oprah Magazine, who encouraged her to write about the 10-10-10 system.
A former US Secretary of State, mentioned in the context of Suzy Welch's fear of interacting with successful people after her public firing.
Former CEO of General Electric, and Suzy Welch's late husband, who supported her through her career challenges.
A friend of the host who believes in letting leaders cry at work.
A socialite and activist, used as an example of someone with a high-scope lifestyle associated with Studio 54.
The demographic cohort currently in their late teens to early twenties, characterized by specific values and approaches to work.
A decision-making framework that prompts individuals to consider the consequences of their choices in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years.
Elite special operations forces in the US Navy, mentioned humorously by the host regarding their future child's upbringing.
A global consulting firm that published a study on Gen Z's desire for leadership roles.
An investment management company where the host worked and found it not to be a good fit due to slow progression and lack of competition.
An investment bank where the host worked early in their career.
An investment bank mentioned as a place where individuals with high eudaimonia, voice, and agency values might feel stifled.
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