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The Lady Glenconner: British Socialite | Full Address and Q&A | Oxford Union

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News & Politics6 min read54 min video
Oct 15, 2022|265,909 views|2,986|743
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TL;DR

Lady Glenconner recounts her intimate experiences with Queen Elizabeth II and Princess Margaret, revealing the deep personal sacrifices and emotional tolls behind the royal facade, especially during the coronation and Princess Margaret's personal struggles.

Key Insights

1

Lady Glenconner was a Maid of Honour at Queen Elizabeth II's coronation in 1953, one of only six chosen based on aristocratic standing.

2

Princess Margaret harbored deep resentment towards Queen Mary for her comments on her height and felt overlooked by her sister, the Queen, who 'had everything'.

3

The coronation was televised against the Queen's initial wishes, a decision influenced by Winston Churchill to showcase the Commonwealth.

4

Lady Glenconner served as Princess Margaret's Lady-in-Waiting for 31 years, managing her public image and providing personal support during difficult times.

5

Despite a public perception shaped by shows like 'The Crown', Lady Glenconner asserts that much of the portrayal is fabricated and deeply upsetting, particularly concerning Princess Margaret and Prince Charles.

6

Queen Elizabeth II's lifelong commitment stems from her father's early death after King Edward VIII's abdication, which instilled in her a profound sense of duty to never abandon her role.

Childhood encounters and the shadow of primogeniture

Lady Glenconner's earliest memories are intertwined with the royal family. Born into nobility before World War II, she felt the sting of primogeniture, being a disappointment as a girl in a society where male heirs were paramount. This societal norm also influenced the royal family, though Princess Charlotte's potential future reign was mentioned as a modern exception. Her first meeting with Princess Margaret, at age three, instantly forged a bond over shared mischievousness. Lady Glenconner recalls a playful incident at Holkham Hall, where she and Princess Margaret were reprimanded by the Queen for their naughtiness. These early encounters, including attending birthday and Christmas parties at Buckingham Palace, set the stage for a lifelong connection, marked by shared moments, like a memorable exchange with Queen Mary over a coveted doll, which resulted in a treasured pearl and coral necklace.

Coronation day: a Maid of Honour's perspective

Lady Glenconner was one of six Maids of Honour selected for Queen Elizabeth II's coronation in 1953. The selection process was stringent, requiring daughters of Dukes, Marquesses, or Earls with 'nice figures'. The Maids of Honour underwent rigorous military-style drills led by the Duke of Norfolk. The dresses, made from silk produced by silkworms in Wales, were heavily embroidered, especially at the back, as the Queen would be seen from behind. Lady Glenconner recounts the surreal experience of waking up on coronation morning, seeing her dress hanging, and the emotional drive to Westminster Abbey amidst a cheering crowd celebrating Edmund Hillary's ascent of Mount Everest. The ceremony itself was a spectacle, with the Abbey transformed into a medieval tapestry of dignitaries. The anointing, a deeply religious and private moment shielded by a canopy, was the most moving part for her, a sacred ritual witnessed by very few. She emphasizes that the Queen's oath of lifelong service, stemming from the abdication crisis that affected her father, is the bedrock of her commitment, explaining why she would never abdicate unless under dire circumstances.

Princess Margaret: a life in the Queen's shadow

The relationship between Queen Elizabeth II and Princess Margaret was complex, amplified by the age difference and the Queen's destiny to rule. Princess Margaret reportedly resented being smaller than her older sister and was often subjected to remarks from Queen Mary about her height. The abdication of their uncle, David, thrust the Queen into the line of succession and later the throne, a burden that also impacted her father, King George VI, leading to his premature death. This deeply affected Princess Margaret, who felt she had lost her sister to her royal duties. Lady Glenconner, who served as Princess Margaret's Lady-in-Waiting for 31 years, witnessed firsthand the challenges of living in the shadow of the monarch. She describes Princess Margaret as someone who liked men and was good at interacting with them, a trait that proved useful in navigating difficult press encounters, such as during a tour of Australia. Despite the Princess's personal struggles, including a difficult marriage and later illness, Lady Glenconner remembers her as a generous and supportive friend, particularly during times of family crisis like her son's AIDS diagnosis.

Navigating public perception and media misrepresentations

Lady Glenconner is critical of how the royal family, particularly Princess Margaret and Prince Charles, has been portrayed in media, citing 'The Crown' as a prime example of fabrication. She recounts a specific instance where she and Princess Margaret were depicted in bikinis at a country club, with Lady Glenconner supposedly 'pimping' for the Princess. This, she states, is entirely untrue and misleading, especially for American audiences who may believe it to be factual. She believes such shows should carry disclaimers. While acknowledging Claire Foy's portrayal of the Queen was brilliant, she feels the overall narrative is inaccurate and upsetting. The royal family, she explains, largely avoids watching these portrayals to protect themselves from the emotional toll.

The evolution of the royal household and its future

The functioning of the royal household has undergone significant changes over 70 years, adapting to evolving societal norms and the decreasing capacity of the monarch. Lady Glenconner notes the proliferation of 'houses' within the royal family, which can sometimes lead to minor rivalries. She emphasizes the loyalty of Princess Margaret's staff, who remained with her for extended periods, reflecting a positive working environment. As Queen Elizabeth II reduces her public duties, Prince Charles has taken on more responsibilities. Lady Glenconner, a long-time friend of Prince Charles, believes he will be a good King, though he must learn to temper his outspokenness, a skill the Queen mastered. She also dismisses speculation about Prince William ascending the throne, stating that Prince Charles has waited long enough and works tirelessly.

A perspective on modern challenges and resilience

Reflecting on her own upbringing and the post-war era, Lady Glenconner offers advice to current students, advocating for a stronger 'backbone' and resilience. She contrasts the hardships of her youth, including unheated bedrooms and rationing, with the perceived abundance and sensitivity of today's generation. While acknowledging the challenges faced by younger generations, she suggests that too much comfort can lead to a lack of toughness. She admires Prince William and Kate Middleton as a 'safe pair of hands' for the future of the monarchy, contrasting them with the public choices of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, whose transition to celebrity life she views with sadness, noting that royal service is 'jolly hard work' and not a 'soap opera'.

Prince Philip: a dash of humor and unwavering support

Lady Glenconner shares fond memories of Prince Philip, describing him as handsome and attentive to detail during the coronation, even to the point of mild fussiness with the Maids of Honour. She recounts an amusing incident on Mustique where an eccentric relative gifted Victorian clothing for the villagers to wear during the Queen and Prince Philip's visit, leading to a humorous misunderstanding. Prince Philip's support for the Queen, particularly during difficult family times, is highlighted as a significant aspect of his character. She recalls his sense of humor, noting that he made the Queen laugh often, and mentions a photograph of her with a bucket on her head. His passing is seen as a great loss, especially for the Queen, to whom he was a steadfast companion.

Key Takeaways from Lady Glenconner's Reflections

Practical takeaways from this episode

Do This

Remember that appearances can be deceiving; 'often better things come in little boxes.'
Maintain a strong backbone and resilience when facing challenges.
Appreciate the hard work involved in royal duties; it's not a fairy tale.
Strive to put the record straight when misinformation or misrepresentations occur.

Avoid This

Don't rely on sensationalized media portrayals (like 'The Crown') as truth.
Don't underestimate the importance of duty and sacrifice in royal service.
Don't expect royal life to be a constant series of wonderful times; it involves hard work.
Don't dismiss the value of historical context and personal experience when understanding the past.

Common Questions

Lady Glenconner's first memory of Princess Margaret was at age three, on tricycles. She knew Margaret would be a friend. She also recalls a moment with Queen Elizabeth (then Princess Elizabeth) observing their naughtiness.

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