Key Moments
The Art of Failing Forward, by Dr. Vivek Anand Oberoi | Vivek Oberoi | TEDxMITWPU
TEDKey Moments
Failing forward transforms mistakes into stepping stones by embracing responsibility and learning, unlike failing backward which leads to blame and repetition.
Key Insights
Failing forward means using mistakes as stepping stones to gain knowledge and achieve future success, removing the fear of failure.
Failing backward involves blaming external factors like luck or others, leading to repeated errors, while failing forward emphasizes taking responsibility and learning.
Zugunruhe is a state of intense physical restlessness experienced by migratory birds before takeoff, symbolizing the anticipation and necessity of risk-taking despite fear.
Vivek Oberoi's grandfather, despite being born into wealth and privilege, walked away from titles and British favor to join the freedom struggle, later rebuilding his life from scratch after exile and partition.
Vivek Oberoi's father, also from a wealthy background, defied family expectations of pursuing traditional professions to become a globally recognized actor with over 250 films.
Vivek Oberoi himself, inspired by his father's code, chose to forge his own path in cinema rather than accept his father's financial backing, ultimately landing a significant role by embodying the character's grit.
Understanding the 'art of failing forward'
The talk introduces the concept of 'failing forward' as a crucial, yet often overlooked, art form. Unlike traditional 'arts' that imply mastery and discipline, failing forward is presented as a mindset shift. It involves actively using mistakes, errors, and failures as stepping stones to acquire knowledge and ultimately achieve future success. This approach fundamentally alters one's relationship with failure by removing the associated fear. When failure is embraced as an intrinsic part of the growth journey, it empowers individuals to take risks and leap of faith more comfortably. This contrasts sharply with 'failing backward,' where individuals assign blame to external circumstances or luck, leading to a cycle of repeated mistakes and a sense of victimhood. Failing forward, conversely, is about taking full responsibility for one's actions and errors, thereby gaining the agency to learn and improve, rather than repeating the same missteps.
The German concept of Zugunruhe
The speaker introduces 'Zugunruhe,' a German word describing the intense physical restlessness migratory birds experience before taking flight. This concept serves as a powerful metaphor for the feeling of anticipation, mixed with fear and even pain, that precedes a significant risk or transition. Biologists observe that this feeling stems from the birds' awareness of a limited window for migration, the risk of being left behind, and the unknown dangers of the journey ahead—predators, storms, and a harsh environment. Despite the inherent comfort of their current state, these birds are driven by an instinctual need to migrate to survive. Zugunruhe, therefore, represents the innate push to leave a comfort zone, a 'comfortable cage,' and embark on a journey into the unknown, essential for growth and survival.
The Oberoi code: A legacy of resilience
The narrative then delves into Vivek Oberoi's family history, illustrating the 'code of the outlaw' through his grandfather and father. His grandfather, born into a privileged royal family with titles from the British Empire, famously renounced his status after being inspired by Shaheed Bhagat Singh. He actively participated in the freedom struggle, risking his life and subsequently being exiled to Balochistan. There, stripped of all familial support, he rebuilt his life from scratch through sheer grit and 'jugaad' (Indian ingenuity), eventually becoming so successful that the local police station road was named after him. Even after losing everything again due to the partition, he courageously relocated his family, settling in Hyderabad and playing a pivotal role in its integration into India, demonstrating an extraordinary capacity to reinvent himself and rewrite his destiny.
The rebellious spirit of Suresh Oberoi
Vivek Oberoi's father, Suresh Oberoi, followed a similar path of defiance against familial expectations. Despite being born into wealth and surrounded by family members who pursued prestigious scientific careers (IITians, doctors, neurosurgeons), he harbored a strong desire to enter the film industry—a path considered unacceptable. Lacking any industry connections or a safety net, he left his affluent home to join the Film and Television Institute of India (FTII) in Pune. He graduated with minimal resources and went on to carve a niche for himself in cinema, starring in over 250 films across eight languages and achieving global recognition. His journey exemplifies the 'Oberoi code' of choosing a challenging, self-defined path over societal or familial pressures, demonstrating that true success comes from pursuing one's passion against all odds.
Pocket money, dates, and the birth of a new code
The speaker shares a personal anecdote from his college days to illustrate how financial constraints can spark innovation and self-reliance. Given a meager monthly allowance of 500 rupees by his disciplinarian father, Oberoi faced a rude awakening when he took a girl on a date. The cost of entry tickets and subsequent cafe visit far exceeded his budget, leaving him broke and facing his father's disapproval. This situation forced him to 'reinvent' himself. He walked to college, sought rides, and eventually found an opportunity at a college orchestra. Though initially just helping backstage, he stepped in as the MC when the hired compere failed to show up. His confident performance, a classic case of 'fake it till you make it,' was a resounding success, earning him a payment of 2,500 rupees for a few hours of work. This event fundamentally shifted his perspective, showing him the potential of entrepreneurship and resourcefulness, becoming a new code in his life.
Auditioning for 'Company' through sheer audacity
Inspired by his father's 'code of the outlaw,' Vivek Oberoi decided to forge his own path in cinema, rejecting his father's offer to produce a film for him. He sought to break the industry norm of second-generation actors being directly promoted. For the role in Ram Gopal Varma's film 'Company,' he took an unconventional approach. After immersing himself in a slum for three weeks, he showed up at Varma's office dressed as the character, complete with a 'beedi' (Indian cigarette) and a swagger. Initially rejected due to his perceived polished appearance, Oberoi refused to accept 'no.' He boldly entered Varma's office, sat uninvited, and presented his transformation photos, challenging the director to see beyond his previous 'chocolate boy' image. This audacious act convinced Varma, who cast him in the lead role, proving that relentless pursuit and embracing the character could overcome initial doubts.
Failing forward into fearlessness
The core message culminates in the idea of 'failing forward into fearlessness.' Oberoi emphasizes that his ability to take the leap of faith, to step out of his comfort zone and define his own success or failure, was crucial. His audacious audition for 'Company' was a direct result of this mindset. The ultimate validation came when Ram Gopal Varma confirmed his casting. In a poignant moment, Oberoi revealed his identity as Suresh Oberoi's son. Varma's subsequent action—giving Oberoi ten rupees as a signing amount from his father—symbolized the recognition of his independent achievement. This moment, marked by his father's pride, stands as the greatest award, embodying the true spirit of the Oberoi tradition: making it on one's own terms by failing forward.
Mentioned in This Episode
●Organizations
●Books
●Concepts
●People Referenced
Failing Forward: Dos and Don'ts
Practical takeaways from this episode
Do This
Avoid This
Common Questions
Failing forward means using mistakes, errors, and failures as stepping stones to gain knowledge and achieve future success, thereby removing the fear of failure and encouraging risk-taking.
Topics
Mentioned in this video
Author of 'The Art of War', a book mentioned as an example of mastering a complex practice.
Mentioned as an author of 'The Art of Living', used as an example of mastering a complex practice.
Mentioned in an anecdote about 'desi jugaad' and resourcefulness, illustrating quick reflexes.
Key figure involved in the takeover of Hyderabad into the Union of India, with whom Vivek Oberoi's grandfather collaborated.
Mentioned as an author of 'The Art of Love', another example of mastering a discipline.
A legendary figure who inspired Anand Swaroop Oberoi to walk away from privilege and join the freedom struggle.
Director of the film 'Company', who was impressed by Vivek Oberoi's audition and cast him in the lead role.
Vivek Oberoi's father, a prominent actor, whose pride was a significant award for Vivek.
New York University, where Vivek Oberoi pursued his studies before entering the film industry.
Film and Television Institute of India, where Vivek Oberoi's father joined as one of seven students out of 100,000 applicants.
An institution where one of Vivek Oberoi's siblings became the first lady dean, highlighting family achievements.
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