Can adults really change significantly?

Yes, research shows that people are capable of making dramatic shifts at nearly every stage of life. Although habits and biases can be strong, adult development involves significant psychological and biological changes across the lifespan, contrary to older beliefs that focused solely on childhood development.

What is the 'narrator' concept in relation to change?

The 'narrator' refers to the self or the internal story-teller of our lives. People often feel they haven't changed because this narrator seems constant, even as life circumstances and their own behaviors evolve. Recognizing this distinction helps understand why we might not perceive our own changes.

How does awareness of mortality affect our perception of change?

As people approach their mid-40s, there's a growing awareness of life's finiteness. This shift in perspective on mortality can institute significant changes in how we see ourselves, our time horizons, and our priorities, leading to different life choices and a re-evaluation of change.

Are some people naturally more open to change than others?

Yes, individual differences exist, potentially with a biological basis. Some people are temperamentally more inclined to welcome new experiences and resist established ways (often associated with 'liberal' views), while others prefer tradition and stability (often associated with 'conservative' views).

How can negative experiences lead to harmful changes?

Negative experiences like trauma or bad breakups can lead to cynicism and withdrawal, pushing individuals to change in ways that might be harmful or cause them to shut down. The challenge is to wrestle with this tendency while remaining open to positive change and new experiences.

Can implicit biases actually change?

Yes, implicit biases, which are often thought to be uncontrollable, can indeed change significantly over time. Research shows substantial drops in biases like anti-gay bias over periods like 14 years, driven by cultural shifts, increased exposure, and evolving societal norms.

What are the main barriers to embracing change?

Barriers include fear of the unknown, fear of losing identity or belonging, and a tendency to project feared characteristics onto 'outsiders,' fueling resistance to change. Experiencing change can also involve grief and loss of familiar ways of being and relating.

Why is it important to address societal shifts affecting men?

Societal shifts, such as a higher percentage of women entering higher education and certain professions, can leave men feeling left behind. Addressing these shifts is crucial for societal balance and well-being, as it impacts not only the group affected but society as a whole.

Is it better to change intentionally or let change happen organically?

Both intentional and subconscious changes occur. Intentional change is more likely when motivated by significant pain or a conscious desire to improve. However, life experiences, developmental stages, and societal shifts often lead to organic, subconscious evolution regardless of personal intent.

Key Moments

Harvard Thinking: Changing how we deal with change

Harvard University

Education5 min read30 min video

Dec 11, 2024|21,613 views|571

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Key Moments

TL;DR

People can change dramatically at any life stage, but our perceived narrator self-sameness and cultural biases often prevent us from recognizing it, leading to unnecessary suffering when we resist inevitable universal change.

Key Insights

Research demonstrates that individuals can make significant shifts in their lives at nearly every stage, countering the myth that 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks'.

The Harvard Study on Adult Development has tracked participants for over 80 years, revealing the profound psychological and biological changes that occur throughout adulthood.

Implicit bias can change; a 64% drop in anti-gay bias was observed over a 14-year period, indicating that deeply held biases are not immutable.

A shift in the perception of life's finiteness, particularly around the mid-40s, can trigger significant changes in how individuals view themselves and their time horizons.

Individual differences exist in openness to change, potentially linked to temperament, with some predisposed to welcoming change and others to seeking stability.

The pursuit of happiness can paradoxically lead to unhappiness if it results in a constant, unfulfilled drive for change rather than acceptance.

The myth of unchangeable adults and the suffering of resistance

The common adage 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks' is fundamentally a myth, according to research presented by Harvard University's experts. People are, in fact, capable of making dramatic shifts at nearly every stage of life, irrespective of ingrained habits and biases. This capacity for change is a constant, driven by the universe's inherent movement and our participation within it. However, resisting this natural flow leads to suffering, encapsulated by the phrase 'let go or be dragged.' The reluctance to change, often stemming from a perceived continuity of self or 'narrator,' prevents individuals from recognizing the transformations already underway, much like not noticing the monthly regeneration of our skin.

The evolving study of adult development

Historically, developmental science predominantly focused on childhood due to the rapid and visible changes observed in young individuals. The prevailing belief was that once adulthood was reached—with established careers and relationships—significant change ceased. However, studies like the Harvard Study on Adult Development, initiated in 1938 and tracking participants for over 80 years, have illuminated the continuous psychological and biological evolution across the adult lifespan. This research highlights that adult development was for a long time the 'poor stepchild' of developmental science, underscoring a historical oversight in understanding human change beyond adolescence and very old age.

The constancy of self: a barrier to recognizing change

A significant reason people often fail to perceive their own changes is the persistence of a 'narrator' or a stable sense of self. This internal storyteller doesn't feel like it changes, leading to an illusion of continuity. This is further complicated by our tendency to view ourselves and others as consistent across situations, a phenomenon explored by Walter Mischel's work. We often meet people in specific roles, limiting our awareness of their full variability. This creates a 'false sense of continuity,' making it difficult to acknowledge that we are, in fact, entirely different people across decades, even if the core narrative voice feels the same.

Implicit bias is not immutable

Contrary to initial beliefs that implicit biases are fixed and unchangeable, research shows significant shifts are possible. Experimental psychologist Mahzarin Banaji shared astonishing findings, including a 64% drop in anti-gay bias over a 14-year period. This dramatic reduction, occurring across society, demonstrates that even deeply ingrained, unconscious attitudes can be altered. The factors contributing to this change are complex, potentially involving increased societal integration of diverse groups, a decline in religious influence, and the powerful impact of personal stories and media representation that foster emotional connections and challenge existing prejudices.

The midlife pivot: confronting mortality

While daily changes like skin regeneration go unnoticed, major perceptual shifts occur, particularly concerning the finiteness of life. Although aware of mortality from a young age, most people perceive it as a distant event. However, research, including the work of Laura Carstensen, indicates that around the mid-40s, individuals begin to develop a more visceral sense of their mortality. This growing awareness of death's inevitability from the mid-40s onwards triggers a cascade of shifts in self-perception and time horizon, fundamentally altering how people engage with their remaining years.

Temperament and the spectrum of change receptivity

Individuals exhibit a spectrum of susceptibility and openness to change, influenced by temperament. Some people are naturally more inclined to welcome new experiences and resist old ways, aligning with 'liberal' tendencies, while others prioritize tradition and stability, akin to 'conservative' inclinations. This biological basis for temperament, as suggested by Jerry Kagan's work on early childhood, can predispose individuals to either embrace or resist change. This difference manifests in various life choices, from willingness to travel or try new things to broader political and social outlooks, impacting life trajectories.

Navigating negative change and disillusionment

Not all change is beneficial. Traumatic experiences, such as a difficult breakup or loss, can lead to cynicism and withdrawal, pushing individuals towards harmful self-alterations. This is particularly evident in responses to disillusionment, a common life experience. While some may become bitter, others can develop a more profound understanding of reality and flourish. The extensive literature on grief and trauma often overshadows disillusionment, yet it remains a powerful experience that shapes how individuals adapt and evolve, either towards resilience or withdrawal.

The paradox of self-improvement and the responsibility for betterment

The relentless pursuit of self-improvement, fueled by the billion-dollar self-help industry, can paradoxically lead to unhappiness. The constant drive to 'be more' can create an endless treadmill without achieving lasting contentment. Psychiatrist Bob Waldinger emphasizes a lifelong responsibility to shield others from our flaws, advocating for continuous effort to improve. However, this must be balanced with self-acceptance, especially in Western cultures where low self-esteem and harsh self-criticism are prevalent. Finding a middle ground between striving for betterment and accepting oneself is crucial for well-being and harmonious relationships, mirroring the American cultural capacity to acknowledge and address flaws publicly.

Mentioned in This Episode

●Organizations

●Books

●Studies Cited

●People Referenced

Navigating Change: Dos and Don'ts

Practical takeaways from this episode

Do This

Embrace change: Resisting it leads to suffering; 'Let go or be dragged.'

Recognize lifelong capacity for change: People can make dramatic shifts at any stage of life.

Acknowledge developmental changes: We are different people every decade, even if the 'narrator' (self) feels consistent.

Understand individual differences: Some are temperamentally more inclined to welcome change (liberal), others to value tradition (conservative).

Learn from disillusionment: Respond to negative experiences by developing a more encompassing understanding of reality.

Recognize societal progress: Despite biases, many societal metrics have improved over time.

Be open to stories: Personal narratives and media can foster empathy and change implicit biases.

Strive to shield others from your flaws.

Seek self-acceptance alongside self-improvement.

Avoid This

Don't believe the myth that people can't change in adulthood.

Don't ignore the psychological and biological changes across the adult lifespan.

Don't assume the 'narrator' or self is static; it constantly evolves.

Don't solely focus on conscious attitudes; implicit biases can and do change.

Don't let fear of the unknown or the 'outsider' prevent necessary change.

Don't become bitter or cynical after disillusionment; aim for a broader understanding.

Don't underestimate the power of personal stories to shift perspectives.

Don't neglect the challenges faced by specific groups undergoing societal shifts (e.g., men in education).

Don't get trapped on an 'endless treadmill of self-improvement' without also seeking self-acceptance.

Changes in Societal Metrics Over Time

Data extracted from this episode

Metric	Trend	Timeframe
Women's Rights	Improvement	20-year view
Homicide Rates	Improvement	20-year view
Unemployment	Improvement	20-year view
Economy Measures	Improvement	20-year view
Happiness Measures	Improvement	20-year view
Women's Rights	Significant Improvement	100-200 year view
Homicide Rates	Significant Improvement	100-200 year view
Unemployment	Significant Improvement	100-200 year view
Economy Measures	Significant Improvement	100-200 year view
Happiness Measures	Significant Improvement	100-200 year view
Anti-Gay Bias	64% drop-off	14-year period

Common Questions

People often resist change due to a craving for permanence, a fear of the unknown, and a sense of continuity in their 'narrator' or self, which can create a false sense of stability. This resistance can also stem from negative life experiences that bake in certain expectations and worldviews.

Topics

Neuroscience & the Brain Mindset & Self-Improvement Society & Philosophy Personal Growth Societal Trends Adult Development Fear Of The Unknown Individual Differences Mortality Awareness Change Resistance Implicit Bias

Mentioned in this video

Media

Harvard Gazette

Publication for which the host, Samantha Laine Perper, writes.

Books

Blind Spot: Hidden Biases of Good People

A bestseller co-written by Mahzarin Banaji, focusing on implicit biases.

Democracy in America

A work by Alexis de Tocqueville that observed the United States' capacity for self-reflection and acknowledging flaws.

Of Boys and Men

A book by Richard Reeves that discusses societal shifts and their impact on men, influencing the speakers' thinking.

People

Jerry Kagan

Known for his work on temperament in early childhood, suggesting certain personality dimensions are biologically present.

Richard Reeves

Author of the book 'Of Boys and Men', which discusses societal shifts and their impact on men.

Laura Carstensen

Her work shows that people begin to have a more visceral sense of the finiteness of life around their mid-40s.

Dalai Lama

Noted that Westerners are more commonly beset by low self-esteem and harsh self-criticism compared to people in Eastern cultures.

Rick Weissbourd

Senior lecturer at Harvard's Graduate School of Education and director of the Making Caring Common Project.

Walter Mischel

A psychologist known for his theory of personality and the concept of the self.

Alexis de Tocqueville

Author of 'Democracy in America', who observed America's ability to look at its flaws as a mark of an evolving culture.

Mahzarin Banaji

An experimental psychologist at Harvard University whose work focuses on implicit bias and co-author of 'Blind Spot: Hidden Biases of Good People'.

Robert Sapolsky

A neurobiologist who wrote about change and consistency in the 1980s, using examples of his research assistant's changing appearance and habits.

Organizations

American Psychological Association

An organization where department chairs discussed concerns about men being left behind in psychology fields.

Kennedy School of Government

A department at Harvard University where Rick Weissbourd has taught.

Brookings Institute

An institution where Richard Reeves is associated with, author of 'Of Boys and Men'.

Making Caring Common Project

A project at Harvard's Graduate School of Education directed by Rick Weissbourd.

Studies & Research

Harvard Study of Adult Development

One of the longest-running studies on human happiness and well-being, tracking participants for over 80 years.

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