Key Moments
Conan O’Brien Delivers the Commencement Address | Harvard Commencement 2026
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Key Moments
Conan O'Brien's Harvard commencement speech argues that accomplishments are less important than community, luck, and humility, urging graduates to embrace their imperfections. He even playfully admits to accepting an unearned doctorate himself.
Key Insights
Harvard's 375th graduating class is larger than the first graduating class of 1642, which had only nine students.
Conan O'Brien humorously recounts suing Harvard for issues like cast-iron bunk beds, scheduling conflicts, a disastrous "Captain Ben's fish spaghetti" meal, and a lackluster undergraduate sex life.
Despite advocating for humility and community, O'Brien admits to accepting an honorary doctorate, stating his grandfather's advice was, 'take what you can get and ask for more.'
O'Brien challenges the notion that foreigners have not contributed to American culture, listing music, literature, art, cuisine, fashion, architecture, dance, scientific breakthroughs, and core moral codes as examples.
The comedian emphasizes that a Harvard degree, while hard-won, can be a "double-edged sword," particularly for those in creative fields, as it can overshadow individual achievements and limit perception.
O'Brien suggests that embracing imperfections and external help, such as community and luck, leads to a richer life than solely focusing on personal accomplishments or status.
Humorous jabs at Harvard and the absurdity of academic regalia
Conan O'Brien opened his commencement address at Harvard University in 2026 with typical comedic flair, immediately poking fun at the somber cap and gown attire, comparing graduates to "potions professors at Hogwarts" and the stage to an "AA meeting for druids." He lightheartedly adjusted the graduating class's grade from an A+ to a C- in line with a supposed new Harvard policy, and playfully offered tequila shots at the Porcelian Club afterward. O'Brien also quipped about Harvard's penchant for using overly elaborate language, noting that only at Harvard would a patch of grass be called a "tur centenery theater." He shared a humorous anecdote about asking a Yale student the meaning of "quarrelless" and jested about Princetonians being "absolute tools."
Reflections on personal Harvard memories and the university's legacy
Returning to his alma mater, O'Brien fondly, yet humorously, recalled his time at Mather House, famously named after Increase Mather, a figure associated with the Salem witch trials. He described Mather House as "ugly" and suggested the witches "got the last laugh." He acknowledged Harvard's distinction as the nation's oldest higher learning institution and noted that the 375th graduating class was significantly larger than the first class of nine students in 1642, humorously adding that even those nine were "legacies." He also pointed out that Harvard has produced "more Nobel laureates or white collar criminals," implying a broad spectrum of potential outcomes for its graduates. Acknowledging the Harvard School of Dental Medicine, O'Brien joked that their dentists give instructions in Latin and that he was swayed to give them a shout-out in exchange for free veneers.
Challenging student concerns and embracing his role as a 'shockingly white' speaker
O'Brien addressed the mundane concerns he was reportedly told plagued the graduating class, such as free laundry, lack of berries, and the discontinuation of complimentary coffee at the Kennedy School, dismissing them as "complaints you'd hear from a brown bear." He then directly addressed the fact that, after years of lectures from "old white men," the university had chosen him, a "shockingly white" alumnus from 41 years prior, to speak. He contrasted his own upcoming role voicing a potty-training gadget in "Toy Story 5" with the more traditional accomplishments of past speakers like Angela Merkel and Winston Churchill. O'Brien assured the graduates that their experiences at Harvard in 2026 were not so different from his in 1981, referencing shared anxieties and college dorm life.
AI's limited threat and a satirical lawsuit against Harvard
Pivotting to contemporary challenges, O'Brien addressed the rise of AI. He humorously suggested that AI would not be a problem at Harvard because professors already used sophisticated software to grade papers, thus easily flagging AI-generated content. He reassured students that AI wouldn't replace them, but rather "those creeps from Princeton." The comedian then launched into a satirical "lawsuit" against Harvard, citing grievances such as the "cast iron bunk bed" in his freshman dorm, impossibly scheduled classes, a "less than spectacular undergraduate sex life" (where a three-way meant adding a second mirror), the Harvard Crocodilos' "8-minute rendition of Split Splash," and a particularly unappetizing meal called "Captain Ben's fish spaghetti." He humorously declared his claims would have "more merit than those filed by the President of the United States."
Critique of xenophobia and defense of foreign contributions
O'Brien addressed the then-current federal lawsuit against Harvard regarding the admission of foreign students. While he stated he wasn't there to defend the university, he announced he was joining the lawsuit, but for entirely different reasons. He then launched into a passionate and ironic defense of foreign contributions to American culture, questioning what foreigners have "ever added" and listing music, literature, art, cuisine, fashion, architecture, dance, scientific breakthroughs, and core moral codes as examples. He sarcastically suggested that without foreign influence, Americans would be limited to "Calvinist Reggae," "Church of England ziti," and the "Lutheran lambada."
The evolving significance of a Harvard degree
Despite his jokes, O'Brien expressed genuine love for Harvard, recounting how his acceptance moved his grandmother. He acknowledged the immense hard work of the graduates and their right to pride. However, he shared a personal evolution: while initially content for Harvard to be the first thing people knew about him, he found that status, even earned, could be a "double-edged sword." For a comedian, the association with Harvard initially felt limiting, leading people to assume a show title like "Late Night with He Thinks He's Better Than You." After decades of work, Harvard is "far, far from the very first thing people think of" when they hear his name, as his content has deliberately avoided any "Ivy League" association, citing examples like appearing on "Hot Ones" or shopping for weed with Kevin Hart. He argued that his achievements, like a Harvard diploma, become "less important in all the very best ways" as one embraces key principles.
Embracing community, luck, and humility over accomplishment
O'Brien outlined principles that have enriched his life more than status. First, he stressed that "absolutely nothing" is done alone, inviting his "infinitely packed clown car of multitudes" to be recognized. Acknowledging external help "spread[s] the blame around when things go south." Second, he advocated for "pivot[ing]," referencing his career pivots, including transitioning to podcasting after the decline of late-night television. Third, he recognized the "enormous role of luck," cautioning against mistaking a "lucky poker hand for their own brilliance." He concluded that "community, spontaneity, and a real commitment to humility" have built a richer life than any diploma. This humility is often learned through experiences like his 24 travel shows, where language barriers and cultural differences necessitate making friends and embracing the unknown, unconcerned with academic credentials.
Lessons from travel and overcoming narcissism
Through his travels to places like Cuba, Ghana, Korea, and Greenland, O'Brien learned the necessity of community, adaptation, and humility. In environments where he didn't speak the language, his college background became irrelevant, forcing him "to make friends." He encouraged graduates to "let yourself be bad at things," citing his own terrible dancing as an example that brings laughter and connection. He shared anecdotes of humiliation in Amsterdam (dressing as Van Gogh) and Ghana (being ejected by the Queen Mother for a soap opera), noting that while these were humbling moments, they also led to smiles and interactions unrelated to his Harvard degree. O'Brien contrasted this with the current "period of extreme narcissism" and self-celebration amplified by phones, arguing that "de-emphasizing what makes us special" is the antidote, fostering laughter, love, and growth.
Accepting the doctorate and redefining success
O'Brien acknowledged the hypocrisy of preaching humility while accepting an honorary doctorate, humorously recalling his grandfather Hoofer's advice: "take what you can get and ask for more," and even inquiring about a "cash component." He admitted to having a "giant ego," evidenced by his show titles. However, he stated that the ideals he stressed – community, luck, and humility – have made his life "infinitely richer and happier." He offered his wish not for Harvard to be the last thing people know about them, but the "least important." He concluded by stating that true education begins now, through successes, defeats, and a humble acceptance that greatness comes from the "mess around you, not despite it." He congratulated the Class of 2026 not for their diplomas, but for their hard work, determination, humanity, and the "boundless community" they will create. The speech ended with a final plug for "Toy Story 5."
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Commencement Advice from Conan O'Brien
Practical takeaways from this episode
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Common Questions
Conan O'Brien's central message was to embrace humility, recognize the role of luck and community in success, and to not let prestigious achievements like a Harvard degree define their entire identity. He encouraged them to prioritize genuine connection and growth over status.
Topics
Mentioned in this video
Compares the stage setting to an AA meeting for druids.
A hypothetical music genre mentioned to illustrate a culture without foreign influence.
A hypothetical dance mentioned to illustrate a culture without foreign influence.
A hypothetical food item mentioned to illustrate a culture without foreign influence.
Used as a humorous comparison for graduates looking like potions professors.
The speaker's freshman year dorm at Harvard, where he encountered a difficult bunk bed.
A country visited for travel shows.
City where Conan visited the Van Gogh Museum in disguise.
A Harvard house where the speaker was served a questionable meal.
Country visited for travel shows.
The speaker's former residence at Harvard, humorously described as ugly and named after Increase Mather.
A location at Harvard, mentioned in the context of a challenging class schedule.
A place where Conan got drunk, cited as an example of his unconventional content.
One of the countries where Conan filmed his travel shows, illustrating lessons in humility and community.
A country visited for travel shows, where he was ejected from a palace.
A country visited for travel shows.
Country visited for travel shows.
Country visited for travel shows.
A location visited for travel shows where he attempted to buy the country.
Palace in Ghana where the speaker was ejected by the Queen Mother.
Referred to in the context of current leadership's belief system regarding empathy and national supremacy.
The city where the speaker's grandfather worked as a traffic cop.
Mentioned in relation to its graduation also happening, suggesting a competitive job hunt.
Humorously singled out as 'absolute tools' among the Ivy League institutions.
Mentioned as being knowledgeable about the meaning of 'quarrelless', contrasting with a joke about Princeton.
Included in the list of esteemed Harvard institutions, with a joke about their faculty speaking Latin.
Mentioned as a place where complimentary coffee is no longer provided, a student concern.
Former Harvard president and historical figure associated with the Salem witch trials, after whom Mather House was named.
Mentioned as someone Conan shopped for weed with, as part of his non-Ivy League content.
Mentioned as a category of distinguished individuals produced by Harvard, alongside white-collar criminals.
Used as a comparison for historical figures who did not perform voice roles in children's movies.
Mentioned as having auditioned for a voice role but frightening children.
The poet whose quote 'I contain multitudes' is referenced to illustrate the speaker's reliance on others.
Mentioned as someone Conan shopped for weed with, as part of his non-Ivy League content.
The speaker's former show, mentioned as part of his career evolution and identity.
The upcoming movie featuring the speaker's voice role as Smarty Pants, mentioned as a humorous distinction.
A show where Conan O'Brien appeared and performed a stunt, used to illustrate his departure from an Ivy League image.
The speaker's former show, mentioned as part of his career evolution and identity.
A show title that reflects his need for connection, mentioned in the context of his ego.
A hypothetical show title mentioned in the context of his ego.
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