Key Moments

The Surprising & Unbelievable Dark Side Of Open Relationships: Aubrey Marcus | E242

The Diary Of A CEOThe Diary Of A CEO
People & Blogs4 min read108 min video
Apr 27, 2023|238,794 views|4,874|884
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TL;DR

Aubrey Marcus discusses founding Onnit, personal growth, polyamory, and redefined life missions.

Key Insights

1

Early life influences from parents provided diverse models for greatness and self-testing.

2

The quest for knowledge, amplified by psychedelic experiences, shaped his focus on inner exploration.

3

Founding Onnit with Joe Rogan led to rapid success, emphasizing strategic partnerships and product development.

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Personal growth involved unlearning negative patterns, particularly anger, learned from his father.

5

Polyamory was explored as a path to experience love and desire authentically, though challenging.

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True forgiveness involves seeing no wrong and accepting experiences as beneficial for growth.

7

His current mission is to serve the world, shifting from personal ambition to collective good.

8

Fit For Service offers community-driven healing and transformation through initiatory practices.

9

He acknowledges a continued reliance on stimulants for alertness and sleep, recognizing it as an area for growth.

EARLY LIFE AND THE FOUNDATION OF GREATNESS

Aubrey Marcus's early life was shaped by parents with impressive achievements: his mother was a professional tennis player, and his father a pioneer in commodities trading. This upbringing, coupled with his grandmother's instillation of a craving for knowledge, provided him with models of greatness and a desire to test his capabilities. The early separation of his parents introduced him to a broader parental constellation, including a naturopathic doctor stepmother and a SWAT officer stepfather, offering diverse perspectives on manhood and life.

THE PSYCHEDELIC SPARK AND THE QUEST FOR KNOWLEDGE

A pivotal moment for Marcus was his first psychedelic medicine journey at 18, which illuminated a sense of consciousness or soul, igniting his passion for psychonautics—the exploration of the inner cosmos. This experience fueled his desire to seek knowledge within and share it with the world through various mediums, including products, content, and podcasts. This inward journey became the genesis of his life's work, aiming to build a personal legacy rooted in understanding and disseminating profound insights.

BUILDING ONNIT: STRATEGY, PARTNERSHIP, AND ENTREPRENEURIAL TRIUMPH

Marcus recounts the foundational moments of Onnit, emphasizing the pivotal meeting with Joe Rogan. His strategy involved offering to create the ideal supplement Rogan desired, leading to the development of Alpha Brain. This product, when combined with Rogan's partnership and podcast reach, resulted in Onnit's meteoric rise, selling out within hours and achieving rapid growth to $60 million in annual revenue. The success was attributed to a blend of strategic vision, product efficacy, strong partnerships, and capitalizing on opportunities, including favorable credit terms.

UNLEARNING ANGER AND NAVIGATING RELATIONSHIPS

Marcus candidly discusses the generational transmission of anger, inherited from his father, and a specific incident where he yelled at a customer service employee. This experience became a turning point, instilling a commitment to never fly into a rage and harm others. His relationship journey also involved exploring polyamory, initially to satiate desires without infidelity, but it proved challenging due to inherent jealousy and the complexities of non-monogamy. This period led to profound lessons about self-awareness, non-competition, and the true nature of love and commitment.

THE EVOLUTION OF MISSION AND SERVICE

Post-Onnit, Marcus has shifted his focus from personal ambition to a broader mission of serving the world. He seeks to understand what the world needs and how he can best contribute, embodying a philosophy of 'for the good of all.' This evolution is marked by a desire to leverage his resources and platform for greater impact, moving beyond self-aggrandizement to a more selfless approach to contribution and community building.

FIT FOR SERVICE AND THE POWER OF COMMUNITY HEALING

The 'Fit For Service' initiative, founded by Marcus, focuses on healing and transformation through community and initiatory practices. While not involving psychedelic substances, it utilizes practices like breathwork, ecstatic dance, vision quests, and sweat lodges to facilitate deep emotional catharsis and connection. The program emphasizes building profound bonds and offering a supportive environment for individuals to confront darkness, illuminate light, and foster lasting friendships, reinforcing the idea that shared challenging experiences can lead to significant personal growth and healing.

THE UNENDING JOURNEY OF SELF-IMPROVEMENT AND VULNERABILITY

Marcus acknowledges ongoing personal growth, specifically the reliance on stimulants and sleep medication, which he views as a current area needing attention for holistic well-being. He recognizes the difficulty in phasing out these dependencies due to obligations but is committed to creating the space for neurochemical reset. This self-awareness and willingness to confront his own limitations, even at the risk of appearing imperfect, underscore his evolutionary approach to life and his continuous pursuit of authenticity and self-mastery.

THE DEPTHS OF LOVE AND RADICAL OWNERSHIP IN PARTNERSHIP

His current relationship with Philana is described as a profound and almost unbelievable love, where he feels complete without compromise. This contrasts with past experiences, highlighting the importance of meeting when ready for such a connection. Marcus and Philana practice radical ownership and continuous communication, employing tools like 'parlay' and 'bedrock' to navigate conflicts. By taking responsibility for their actions and ensuring no accumulating resentment, they deepen their intimacy and strengthen their bond, demonstrating a commitment to ongoing relational work and mutual growth.

Common Questions

Aubrey Marcus initially sought to advertise for a client (Fleshlight) on Joe Rogan's podcast, using the opportunity to request a 30-minute coffee meeting. This meeting led to friendship, podcast appearances, and eventually Rogan becoming a partner in Onnit.

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