Is the G-spot real and where is it located?

The G-spot is more of a zone than a specific spot, located on the anterior wall of the vagina, about 2-3 centimeters in. It's a densely innervated area that can be pleasurable to stimulate, similar to the prostate in men, though not everyone orgasms from its stimulation.

What is the average penis size?

The average erect penis size is around 5.3 to 5.7 inches. Many perceived averages are skewed by media like pornography, which often uses camera tricks to enhance perceived size. Size is less important than technique and duration for satisfying a partner.

Why are young men increasingly watching porn and what are the risks?

Lack of comprehensive sex education in schools and from parents leads young men to learn about sex through porn. This can lead to unrealistic expectations and confusion when real-life experiences don't match, potentially causing stress and sexual dysfunction.

How can I improve my sex life with my partner?

Start by talking openly with your partner about desires and what feels good. Try incorporating novelty, like trying different positions or locations. Focus on communication and playfulness rather than pressure. Exploring each other's bodies and ensuring adequate stimulation are key.

Does libido decrease with age in women?

Libido can decrease with age due to various factors, including declining testosterone levels. Stress, fatigue, and the shift from spontaneous to responsive desire in long-term relationships also play a role. Fortunately, there are medical and lifestyle approaches to help regain desire.

What is erectile dysfunction (ED) and how is it linked to heart health?

ED affects a significant percentage of men, increasing with age. It's often a manifestation of underlying blood flow issues, which are also precursors to heart problems. Addressing ED through diet, exercise, and managing health can significantly reduce heart attack risk.

How does mindfulness help with sexual function?

Mindfulness practices, even outside the bedroom, can improve female sexual function by helping women focus on their bodies and sensations. This reduces mental distractions, allowing for greater arousal, desire, and better engagement during intimacy.

What are the main causes of a tight pelvic floor?

A tight pelvic floor can result from trauma, chronic stress, anxiety, or even surgery. Unlike a weak pelvic floor, which benefits from Kegels, a tight pelvic floor requires relaxation techniques such as yoga, deep breathing, and sometimes pelvic floor physical therapy or massage.

Are drugs and alcohol good for sex?

While substances like cannabis can temporarily increase libido, and alcohol might reduce inhibitions for some, chronic use is generally detrimental to sexual function and overall health. Alcohol can impair arousal and erectile function, and it's easy to make poor judgments when intoxicated.

What is the 'sex span' and how can it be increased?

Sex span refers to the duration of life during which individuals maintain sexual desire and function. Continuing to cultivate desire, engage in regular sexual activity, and maintain good physical health (including blood flow to genitals) can help extend this period. Studies suggest people who have sex regularly may live longer.

Why are we having less sex now than ever before?

Several factors contribute: increased phone and internet usage distracting from in-person interaction, higher life stressors, economic pressures, and a societal shift towards individualism and less community support. These factors reduce opportunities and motivation for sex.

Key Moments

Get Your Sex Life Back! What Everyone Gets Wrong About Sex & Libido: Dr. Rena Malik

Codie Sanchez

Science & Technology4 min read67 min video

Jun 11, 2025|39,745 views|645|47

Rena Malik BigDeal Podcast Big Deal Codie Sanchez

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Key Moments

TL;DR

Decoding sex, libido, and relationships: Expert advice on pleasure, myths, and health.

Key Insights

For women, clitoral stimulation is crucial for orgasm, as 85% require it, and penetration alone is often insufficient.

Low libido in women can stem from physical, psychological, or relationship factors, but can often be addressed with lifestyle changes or medical intervention like testosterone therapy.

Erectile dysfunction in men, particularly those over 50, is a significant indicator of underlying cardiovascular issues and can be mitigated by healthy lifestyle choices.

The portrayal of sex in media and porn often creates unrealistic expectations, leading to dissatisfaction and a lack of understanding of female anatomy and sexual response.

Open communication, exploration, and a focus on mutual pleasure are key to improving sexual satisfaction in long-term relationships.

Mindfulness and stress reduction can significantly enhance sexual function and desire for both men and women.

Pelvic floor health is vital for both men and women, impacting sexual function, urinary control, and overall core stability.

While some substances like cannabis may have short-term benefits for libido, chronic use and excessive alcohol consumption can negatively impact sexual health.

The decline in sex frequency is linked to increased stress, phone usage, and societal pressures, highlighting the need for intentionality in relationships.

Human connection in sexual intimacy provides a more profound and fulfilling experience than simulated interactions with AI or pornography.

MYTHS AND REALITIES OF FEMALE ORGASM

A significant portion of women (up to 40%) have faked orgasms, often due to insufficient clitoral stimulation, as 85% require it for climax. The common misconception that prolonged penetration alone leads to female orgasm is debunked; lesbian couples, for instance, achieve higher orgasm rates due to a better understanding of anatomy. The G-spot is described as a pleasure zone, not a specific 'button,' and its stimulation often involves the clitoral complex, emphasizing that focused clitoral attention is paramount for female satisfaction.

ADDRESSING LOW LIBIDO AND SEXUAL DESIRE

Low libido is common, affecting up to 40% of women. In long-term relationships, desire often shifts from spontaneous to responsive, meaning intimacy with a partner can spark desire. Factors contributing to low libido include stress, fatigue, hormonal changes (like declining testosterone in women), medications, and relationship dynamics. Medical interventions, such as testosterone therapy or prescription medications like Addyi and Vyleesi for women, can help restore desire by influencing brain chemistry.

ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION AND CARDIOVASCULAR HEALTH

Erectile dysfunction (ED) affects a significant percentage of men, with prevalence increasing with age. Crucially, ED is a strong predictor of cardiovascular disease, often appearing years before heart issues manifest due to shared vascular mechanisms. Addressing ED through lifestyle changes—diet, exercise (150 minutes of moderate cardio weekly), managing cholesterol and blood pressure—can be as effective as medication like Viagra, emphasizing the connection between overall physical health and sexual function.

THE IMPACT OF PORNOGRAPHY AND MEDIA

The pervasive accessibility of pornography raises concerns, particularly when used as an escape from negative emotions, leading to a cycle of shame and dependency. While pornography can be a tool for pleasure or learning for some, problematic use arises when it replaces real intimacy or creates unrealistic expectations, especially for young men whose sexual education is often lacking. Conversely, media portraying penetrative sex as the primary path to orgasm for women contributes to misunderstanding and dissatisfaction.

ENHANCING INTIMACY AND RELATIONSHIP SATISFACTION

Improving sexual connection in relationships hinges on open communication, willingness to explore, and prioritizing mutual pleasure. Simple actions like discussing desires, trying new approaches, and focusing on foreplay and non-genital stimulation can enhance intimacy. Mindfulness practices have shown significant benefits for women with low libido by improving focus and reducing distractions, making them more present during sexual encounters. Adding novelty and playfulness, rather than treating sex as a performance obligation, is key.

PELVIC FLOOR HEALTH AND SEXUAL WELL-BEING

The pelvic floor muscles, crucial for both men and women, support organs, aid in bodily functions, and play a role in sexual response. Dysfunction can manifest as weakness (leading to incontinence or prolapse) or excessive tightness (causing pain or discomfort). While Kegel exercises strengthen weak pelvic floors, a tight pelvic floor requires relaxation techniques like yoga, deep breathing, or physical therapy. Addressing pelvic floor issues is vital for overall sexual health and comfort.

THE DECLINE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY AND FUTURE PROSPECTS

Evidence suggests that people are having sex less frequently than in previous generations, attributed to increased stress, digital distractions (phones), and societal pressures. However, there's a growing recognition of the importance of sexual health and intimacy. Experts express hope that societal shifts, legislative support for families, and increased open dialogue can reverse negative trends. Maintaining sexual activity throughout life, often termed 'sex span,' is linked to longevity and overall well-being, reinforcing the idea that 'use it or lose it' applies to desire and function.

THE ROLE OF SUBSTANCES AND BRAIN RESPONSE

While substances like cannabis may offer short-term libido enhancement for some women due to vasodilation, chronic use can diminish desire. Alcohol can reduce inhibitions but can also lead to poor judgment and, particularly in men, erectile difficulties. Scientific studies show that the brain's pleasure centers are more intensely activated during sexual intimacy with a human partner compared to simulated experiences like pornography, underscoring the unique value of genuine human connection in sexual fulfillment.

Mentioned in This Episode

●Supplements

●Tools

●Companies

●Books

●People Referenced

Erectile Dysfunction Prevalence by Age

Data extracted from this episode

Age Group	Prevalence of ED
Over 50	52%
Age 50s	60%
Age 60s	70%
Age 70s	80%
Age 40s	25%

Average Sexual Encounter Duration vs. Female Arousal Time

Data extracted from this episode

Metric	Average Time
Average duration of sex (penetration to male climax)	5-6 minutes
Average time for female arousal	25 minutes (minimum)

Factors Preventing Female Orgasm

Data extracted from this episode

Factor	Percentage needing clitoral stimulation
Inadequate Stimulation (Clitoral)	85%
Insufficient Arousal Time	N/A
Pain during intercourse	N/A

Common Questions

Studies suggest around 40% of women fake orgasms. This can be due to insufficient arousal time, pain during intercourse, or inadequate clitoral stimulation during typical male-focused sexual encounters. It's often easier than communicating dissatisfaction or lack of pleasure.