What's the difference between a doula and a midwife?

A midwife assists the mother during the delivery, with medical observation and potential interventions. A doula's role is to support the mother emotionally and ensure she has everything she needs during the process.

Why are doctors no longer trained in delivering breach babies?

Outdated studies on breach births, which didn't adequately account for various factors, led to a decrease in training. Many doctors are not equipped to handle breach births safely anymore, often leading to recommendations for C-sections.

How can one develop medical intuition?

Medical intuition involves weaving personal intuition with gathered information. It means trusting your inner knowing about your body, even when faced with conventional medical advice, and investigating further.

Can birth be an orgasmic experience?

While some describe 'orgasmic births,' Kimberly Van Der Beek shares her experience of a peaceful, slightly orgasmic birth with her third child, characterized by a short active labor and a serene delivery in water.

How did Kimberly and James Van Der Beek meet?

They met during a spiritual trip while studying Kabbalah. Kimberly's teacher was close with James's teacher, and though Kimberly wasn't actively looking for a relationship, James was able to connect with her.

What is the 'village' concept Kimberly discusses regarding motherhood?

Kimberly advocates for a return to a village-like structure where families live together, offering mutual support. This approach combats the isolation many mothers feel and provides a community for raising children.

Why did Kimberly's oldest child start public school after alternative education?

Kimberly honors her children's desires. Her oldest wanted a school experience, and after open conversations, Kimberly supported her exploration, which turned out to be a positive and life-changing experience for her daughter.

What is 'unschooling'?

Unschooling is an educational approach where children's natural curiosities guide their learning, often within a culture of living together. It's distinct from homeschooling and emphasizes self-directed learning experiences.

What advice does Kimberly give to women struggling with fertility or feminine abundance?

She emphasizes acknowledging that struggles are normal and one is not alone. She advises spending time with oneself to process emotions, seeking supportive people, and finding resources like books that resonate, rather than relying solely on external advice.

What is the significance of the newborn course Kimberly is creating?

The course aims to guide new mothers through the crucial newborn days, focusing on setting boundaries, understanding needs, integrating intuition with information, and sharing practical tips (like newborn burping techniques) learned from experience.

Key Moments

Why You're Not Getting Pregnant | Kimberly Van Der Beek

Codie Sanchez

People & Blogs5 min read78 min video

Jan 15, 2025|4,790 views|128|13

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Key Moments

TL;DR

Motherhood, intuition, birth, and community are explored with Kimberly Van Der Beek.

Key Insights

The "conception cabin" on Kimberly's land is believed to be a portal for spirit babies, with two friends conceiving there.

Kimberly advocates for trusting intuition in pregnancy and birth, drawing from personal experiences with home births and challenging medical advice.

Doulas support mothers emotionally and physically, while midwives provide medical assistance during childbirth.

Finding a supportive partner and community is crucial for navigating the challenges of conception, pregnancy, and motherhood.

Societal pressures can lead to feelings of isolation, but building community can counteract this, offering support and shared experiences.

The conversation touches on modern dating, attracting the right partner, financial independence, and raising children unconventionally.

THE CONCEPTION CABIN AND SPIRITUAL BIRTH

Kimberly Van Der Beek shares a unique aspect of her land: a "conception cabin" (cabin 16) inspired by the book "Spirit Babies," believed to be a portal where spirit babies enter the physical realm. She recounts two instances of friends conceiving in this cabin, highlighting a spiritual approach to conception. This aligns with her broader theme of embracing unconventional or intuitive methods, especially when societal norms or medical advice feel incomplete. The concept extends to her philosophy of co-creation with a soul during birth, where her requests are made, but the ultimate unfolding is honored.

NAVIGATING PREGNANCY AND BIRTH WITH INTUITION

With five of her six children born at home, Kimberly emphasizes the power of maternal intuition in pregnancy and birth. She shares her experience of being talked out of a home birth for her first child, only to later pursue home births. A significant turning point was discovering outdated studies on breech births that led to unnecessary cesarean recommendations. She actively sought out a doctor trained in breech deliveries, demonstrating a commitment to investigating and trusting her inner knowing over conventional, potentially flawed, medical directives. This proactive approach underscores her belief in co-creating birth experiences.

THE ROLES OF DOULAS AND MIDWIVES

Understanding the distinctions between doulas and midwives is crucial, as explained by Kimberly. Midwives are trained medical professionals who assist mothers during delivery, monitor for any medical needs, and are qualified to intervene if necessary. Doulas, on the other hand, provide non-medical support, focusing on the mother's emotional, physical, and informational needs throughout the birthing process. While there are formal training programs for both, Kimberly notes the lack of a governing body for doulas, emphasizing the importance of thorough vetting to find a supportive and competent birth team.

EMBRACING COMMUNITY AND SUPPORT SYSTEMS

Kimberly highlights the societal epidemic of loneliness and isolation, arguing that community is the antidote. After moving to a property with multiple cabins, she actively fosters a sense of togetherness, inviting friends and family to live on or visit the compound. She stresses that supporting motherhood is often lacking in mainstream society, leading to mothers feeling isolated and overwhelmed. Creating a village-like environment, where resources and childcare can be shared, is presented as a way to combat this, allowing mothers to have adequate time for themselves and their children.

RECONNECTING WITH PARTNERSHIP AND MASCULINITY

The conversation delves into modern dating and the challenges young women face in finding a believing partner. Kimberly advocates for shifting one's frequency to attract the right person, suggesting that a belief in the existence of supportive men is key. She shares her 14-year marriage to James Van Der Beek as an example of a partnership built on mutual support and open communication, even through immense grief. Her husband's active participation and emotional presence during her later births are highlighted as instrumental, demonstrating the vital role of engaged and supportive male partners.

EDUCATION AND HONORING CHILDREN'S PATHS

Kimberly discusses her evolving approach to her children's education, moving from home-based schooling and unschooling to allowing her oldest child to attend public school. She emphasizes the importance of meeting children where they are, honoring their curiosity, and fostering critical thinking skills. Her own negative experience with traditional schooling fueled her desire for alternative education, but she learned to surrender and adapt when her children expressed different needs. This flexibility and willingness to support individual exploration are presented as core to her parenting philosophy, even if it means allowing children to engage with systems she once questioned.

SPIRITUALITY, TRUTH, AND PERSONAL ALIGNMENT

The discussion touches on spirituality, with Kimberly sharing her recent dedication to God and encouraging radical honesty with oneself and the divine. She advocates for understanding personal narratives, questioning ingrained beliefs, and seeking truth through curiosity. The concept of a 'tuning fork' is used to describe how truth feels, resonating with an innate sense of knowing. She encourages listeners to identify and transmute 'sticky energy' rooted in past traumas or societal conditioning, believing that this process is essential for collective healing and personal alignment. This journey involves self-reflection, embracing discomfort, and seeking what feels authentic.

NAVIGATING EMOTIONAL BLOCKS AND TRAUMA

Kimberly stresses the importance of emotional processing and self-awareness, advising listeners to spend time with themselves to understand their feelings and needs. She suggests that 'sticky energy' can be a distraction from unprocessed trauma. By allowing oneself to feel emotions like depression or pain without letting them dictate behavior, one can begin to unwind these blockages. Seeking support from trusted friends or therapists, and engaging with resources like specific books, are recommended steps in this healing process. This self-work is vital for personal growth and for fostering healthier relationships and life experiences.

THE BEAUTY OF MOTHERHOOD AND SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS

The conversation frequently circles back to the undervalued beauty of motherhood, which Kimberly feels society often fails to support adequately. She notes that many mothers feel isolated and struggle with basic self-care like showering. Kimberly advocates for a return to a more communal living style, envisioning a village where families support each other. She shares her own efforts to create this by having friends and family live with her, emphasizing the joy this brings to her children. This ideal of shared living and mutual support is presented as a powerful counter-narrative to the current culture of individualism and separation.

EMBRACING IMPERFECTION AND DIVINE DESIGN

Kimberly concludes by acknowledging her own imperfections, emphasizing that her life, while appearing blessed, has involved significant struggles and mistakes. She reassures listeners that they are not alone in their challenges and encourages them to embrace the human experience, including its mess-ups and learning curves. The pursuit of perfection, whether in natural living, homeschooling, or any aspect of life, is presented as an unnecessary pressure. She promotes the idea that individuals are divine, perfect creatures here for an earthly exploration, and that embracing this process, with all its imperfections, is the most authentic way to live.

Mentioned in This Episode

●Companies

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●Books

●People Referenced

Common Questions

The conception cabin is a space on Kimberly Van Der Beek's land, inspired by the book 'Spirit Babies,' believed to be a portal for spirit babies to enter conception. Two friends have conceived there.