What is the average frequency of sex for couples?

For people in partnered relationships where sex is regularly available, the average is about once a week. However, there's no ideal number; quality of sex is more important than quantity. (Timestamp: 809 seconds)

Why does sex sometimes hurt, especially for women?

Pain during sex is not normal and often indicates insufficient foreplay, lack of lubrication, or underlying medical conditions like hormonal changes, pelvic floor dysfunction, or endometriosis. Adequate arousal allows the vagina to self-lubricate, lengthen, and widen. (Timestamp: 897 seconds)

How long does it typically take for a woman to become fully aroused and ready for penetration?

The vagina typically expands by about double in length and width, and self-lubricates. This process is estimated to take on average 18 to 20 minutes, though it can vary significantly by individual. (Timestamp: 1042 seconds)

Can chronic stress affect libido and testosterone levels?

Absolutely. Chronic stress elevates cortisol levels, which in turn reduces testosterone production. This physiological response to stress can significantly impact libido in both men and women, irrespective of other hormonal factors. (Timestamp: 1870 seconds)

Are activities like using saunas or keeping a phone near genitals harmful to sperm count?

Yes, these activities can increase the temperature around the testicles, which need a specific, cooler environment for optimal sperm production. High temperatures from saunas or devices can temporarily stop sperm production or cause abnormalities. (Timestamp: 2732 seconds)

Does masturbation decrease testosterone levels, or is No Nut November beneficial?

There is no convincing scientific evidence that masturbating or abstaining from masturbation significantly increases testosterone. While one small study showed a temporary slight increase after 21 days of abstinence, it's not considered robust. 'No Nut November' is fine if it provides personal benefits but should not be undertaken with unrealistic expectations or guilt over failure. (Timestamp: 2880 seconds)

What should men understand about the clitoris to improve female pleasure?

The clitoris is anatomically similar to the penis and is highly sensitive, often being the most reliable route to orgasm for women (85% require clitoral stimulation). Men should focus on various forms of clitoral stimulation (oral, vibratory, manual) and communicate with their partner about what feels best. (Timestamp: 4446 seconds)

Is it true that men climax much faster than women during intercourse?

Yes. Studies with stopwatches show that the average time from penetration to male climax is 5.1-5.7 minutes, while the average time for a woman to orgasm is about 14 minutes. This 'orgasm gap' highlights the need for foreplay and prioritizing female pleasure. (Timestamp: 4694 seconds)

Can trauma impact sexual health and function?

Absolutely. Unresolved trauma can manifest as physical pelvic floor dysfunction, causing tightness, pain, and sexual dysfunction. Addressing trauma through therapy is crucial, as sexual dysfunction always has a psychological component alongside any physical issues. (Timestamp: 4228 seconds)

What is squirting, and is it the same as female ejaculation or urine?

Squirting is a clear, colorless, odorless fluid emitted from the urethra, and while some analyses show dilute urine, women who squirt often feel it's not urine. Female ejaculate is a separate, smaller amount of sticky, white fluid from specific glands. The exact origin of squirting fluid is still debated by researchers. (Timestamp: 6473 seconds)

The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! Dr Rena Malik

The Diary Of A CEO

People & Blogs5 min read115 min video

Apr 1, 2024|7,727,562 views|112,587|6,421

The Diary Of A CEO steven bartlett steve bartlett podcast the diary of a CEO podcast life lessons CEO

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TL;DR

Masturbation may reduce prostate cancer risk, pelvic floor health is crucial, and open communication is key to sexual well-being.

Key Insights

Ejaculating 21+ times a month is statistically linked to a lower risk of prostate cancer.

Pelvic floor health is vital for both men and women, impacting sexual function, urination, and even contributing to issues like erectile dysfunction and back pain.

Open and consistent communication about sexual needs and desires is essential for healthy relationships.

Misconceptions about sexual health are widespread, often fueled by inaccurate media portrayals and a lack of comprehensive education.

Hormonal imbalances, stress, and lifestyle factors significantly influence libido and sexual function.

Technology, particularly VR, presents future concerns regarding its impact on real-world intimacy and potential for addictive use.

DEFINING SEXUAL HEALTH AND ITS IMPORTANCE

Dr. Rena Malik emphasizes that sexual health is integral to overall health, with many people misunderstanding what constitutes good sexual health and its importance. This lack of understanding can lead to despair and self-criticism. Her goal is to make accurate, accessible education available so individuals can understand their bodies, recognize what's normal, and know what help is available. Sexual health is defined by the ability to have sex, achieve orgasm, experience pleasure, and reap the benefits thereof.

THE MYTHS AND REALITIES OF THE MALE PELVIC FLOOR

Contrary to common belief, men also possess a pelvic floor, a crucial set of muscles supporting organs and involved in sexual function. Weakness or dysfunction in this area can lead to issues like erectile dysfunction, constipation, and urinary problems. Prolonged sitting can negatively impact pelvic floor flexibility, contributing to tension that affects blood flow to the penis, potentially causing erectile dysfunction. Understanding and maintaining pelvic floor health is as important for men as it is for women, especially in mitigating sexual health issues.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY: BREAKING DOWN SEXUAL STIGMA

A significant barrier to sexual well-being is the lack of open communication, both societally and within relationships. This deficit often stems from inadequate sex education, with many learning about sex from unreliable sources like pornography. Dr. Malik stresses that effective sexual health relies on knowing one's own desires and communicating them to a partner. This requires ongoing, non-judgmental conversations, ideally outside the bedroom, focusing on 'I' statements and personal feelings rather than accusations.

UNDERSTANDING SEXUAL DESIRE AND HORMONAL INFLUENCES

Sexual desire operates on two main types: spontaneous and responsive. While men may lean towards spontaneous desire, women often experience responsive desire, especially in long-term relationships. This difference can lead to misunderstandings, but it's normal. Libido is also significantly influenced by hormones like testosterone and thyroid, and crucial lifestyle factors such as sleep, exercise, and diet. Chronic stress increases cortisol, which can suppress testosterone production, directly impacting desire.

THE LINK BETWEEN MASTURBATION, EJACULATION, AND HEALTH

Contrary to some myths, masturbation itself does not decrease testosterone or sperm count; in fact, ejaculating frequently (21+ times a month) is statistically linked to a lower risk of prostate cancer, potentially due to clearing prostatic fluids. Orgasm, whether through masturbation or partnered sex, contributes to pelvic floor strength. The notion that abstaining from ejaculation boosts athletic performance or mental clarity lacks scientific evidence and can lead to unnecessary stress and misery.

TECHNOLOGY'S EVOLVING IMPACT ON SEXUAL HEALTH AND INTIMACY

The increasing accessibility and advancement of technology, such as VR headsets and smartphones, raise concerns about their influence on sexual health. While technology can offer therapeutic benefits, like desensitization for trauma survivors, its prevalence in pornography consumption could reduce the pursuit of real-world intimate relationships. The ease of immediate gratification through digital means necessitates a conscious effort to maintain genuine human connection and physical intimacy.

ADDRESSING PENIS SIZE PERCEPTIONS AND REALITIES

Societal narratives, heavily influenced by pornography, create unrealistic expectations about penis size. While traction devices offer a potential, albeit time-consuming, method for lengthening, pumps and surgery have not proven effective or safe for most. Studies indicate that women generally prefer average-sized penises, and girth, contrary to popular belief, can sometimes cause discomfort. The focus should shift from size to communication and technique, as clitoral stimulation remains the most reliable path to female orgasm.

FEMALE ANATOMY AND ORGASM: BEYOND PENETRATION

Understanding female sexual anatomy is crucial, as the clitoris, homologous to the penis, is the most common pathway to orgasm for women, with 85% requiring direct stimulation. The vaginal canal and cervix also play roles in sexual pleasure. The average time for female orgasm (around 14 minutes) is significantly longer than male orgasm (5-6 minutes), highlighting the need for foreplay and targeted clitoral stimulation. Labiaplasty, while a personal choice, is often driven by unrealistic media portrayals rather than medical necessity.

THE ROLE OF TRAUMA AND EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING IN SEXUAL FUNCTION

Unresolved trauma profoundly impacts sexual health, often manifesting as persistent pelvic floor tension and dysfunction. The body 'remembers' traumatic experiences, affecting physiological and mental states. Dr. Malik advocates for therapy and seeking help to resolve trauma, emphasizing that psychological components are inseparable from sexual dysfunction. Comprehensive sex education should also include guidance on trauma resolution and navigating the digital world to find reliable health information.

FEMALE EJACULATION AND SQUIRTING: UNRAVELING THE MYSTERY

Female ejaculation and squirting remain subjects of misunderstanding. While lubrication is a natural bodily function, female ejaculate is a small amount of whitish fluid from the Skene's glands, similar to male ejaculate. Squirting, often depicted copiously in pornography, is a clear fluid emitted from the urethra, potentially dilute urine or a combination of substances. The exact origin and mechanism are still under research, but it's distinct from typical lubrication or ejaculate.

Mentioned in This Episode

●Supplements

●Products

●Concepts

●People Referenced

Sexual Health Essentials: Do's & Don'ts

Practical takeaways from this episode

Do This

Prioritize open and honest communication about sex with your partner, outside the bedroom.

Engage in foreplay for at least 18-20 minutes to allow for full female arousal and lubrication.

Use lubricants liberally to enhance pleasure and prevent pain for all partners.

Schedule 'intimacy time' on your calendar without the pressure of sex, to foster connection.

Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep to support healthy testosterone levels.

Incorporate resistance exercise (especially large muscle groups) into your routine for testosterone boost.

Adopt a Mediterranean-style diet (vegetables, fruit, healthy fats, nuts, seeds) and avoid processed foods and sugar.

Reduce exposure to endocrine-disrupting chemicals by using glass over plastic for food and drinks.

Perform Kegel exercises correctly, focusing on both squeezing and relaxing the pelvic floor muscles.

Seek professional help from a sex therapist or pelvic floor physical therapist for persistent sexual or pelvic health issues.

Practice mindfulness during sex to focus on sensations and enhance pleasure.

View pornography as entertainment, not a realistic guide for sexual encounters.

Talk to children about sex and explain that pornography is not real life to prevent problematic use.

Avoid This

Don't ignore sexual health issues; they can indicate broader physical or mental health problems.

Don't compare your sex life to perceived norms or media portrayals; quality over quantity is key.

Don't have difficult sexual conversations immediately before, during, or after sex.

Don't assume more testosterone will solve libido issues if your levels are already normal; it can be dangerous.

Don't engage in chronic, high-intensity, long-duration endurance exercise if you suspect low testosterone.

Don't place phones, laptops, or hot devices near your genitals, especially when trying to conceive, due to temperature increase.

Avoid hot tubs and saunas if you are experiencing fertility issues.

Don't abstain from masturbation for theoretical benefits like increased testosterone if it causes distress.

Don't rely solely on one type of masturbation or pornography, as it can make it harder to climax with a partner.

Don't dismiss pain during sex; it's a sign that something is wrong and needs evaluation.

Don't assume penis size is the most important factor for female pleasure; clitoral stimulation is key.

Don't believe myths that frequent sex loosens the vagina; orgasms can actually strengthen the pelvic floor.

Average Sexual Encounter & Orgasm Times

Data extracted from this episode

Group/Context	Desired Sex Duration (Total Encounter)	Actual Male Climax (Penetration to Ejaculation)	Actual Female Orgasm (Total Encounter)
Women	18-25 minutes	N/A	14 minutes
Men	12-16 minutes	5.1-5.7 minutes	N/A
Men & Women (First Encounter)	N/A	95% orgasm rate for men	45% orgasm rate for women
Women & Women (First Encounter)	N/A	N/A	95% orgasm rate for both

Natural Methods to Increase Testosterone

Data extracted from this episode

Method	Impact	Notes
Sleep (7-9 hours)	Increase (10-15%)	Poor quality or <6 hours sleep reduces testosterone
Resistance Exercise	Significant Increase	Focus on large muscle groups (e.g., lower extremities)
Cardiovascular Endurance Training	Decrease (potential)	High-intensity, long-duration (e.g., marathons) can raise cortisol
Mediterranean Diet	Promotes healthy levels	Avoid processed foods/sugar, include healthy fats, nuts, seeds
Reduce Endocrine Disruptor Exposure	Supports healthy levels	Avoid plastic water bottles, warm food in glass

Common Questions

Research suggests the opposite: men who ejaculate 21 or more times a month are actually less likely to develop prostate cancer. This is hypothesized to be due to a 'prostate stagnation hypothesis' where frequent ejaculation helps 'clean the pipes,' though healthier lifestyles of those with higher frequency may also play a role. (Timestamp: 3593 seconds)

Topics

Pelvic Floor Sexual Myths Masturbation Clitoral Stimulation Penis Size Female Ejaculation

Mentioned in this video

personDr. Rena Malik

Board-certified urologist and expert on sexual health, dedicated to educating the public on sex facts and myths.

conceptNo Nut November

A trend of abstaining from ejaculation for a month, which Dr. Malik advises against if it causes misery or feelings of failure, as scientific evidence for its claimed benefits is weak.

supplementtestosterone

A hormone crucial for sexual desire in both men and women, with levels impacted by sleep, exercise, diet, and chronic stress.

personsex therapist

A professional with expertise in psychology and sex who can help individuals and couples learn how to talk about sex and navigate difficulties.

personLori Brotto

A researcher using VR headsets to desensitize women with fear of penetration, exploring positive applications of virtual reality in sex therapy.

conceptendocrine-disrupting chemicals (EDCs)

Chemicals found in the environment, such as microplastics and phthalates, that are suspected of contributing to declining testosterone and sperm quality.

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