How should I approach my career in my 30s?

Your 30s are about 'game selection' – being deliberate about the opportunities you pursue because your energy is finite. Focus on activities that yield significant outcomes and avoid spreading yourself too thin.

What are the most important investments to make in my 30s?

Investing in your health is crucial, as the 'use it or lose it' principle applies after 30. Additionally, laying strong foundations in relationships, reputation, and financial habits will significantly impact your quality of life by your 40s.

Is it true that life gets better after 30?

According to Noah Kagan, life truly does get better with age, likening it to fine wine. While 20s are foundational, 30s and 40s offer increased wisdom, joy, and better experiences.

How important is health and fitness in my 30s?

Getting your body in shape is paramount, offering a high return on investment for your physical health, mental clarity, and even business and relationships. Neglecting it in your 20s and 30s can lead to significant challenges later.

What's the impact of decisions made in my 30s on my 40s?

The foundations you lay in your 30s directly dictate the quality of life you'll experience in your 40s. Small investments in areas like reputation, finances, and health compound significantly over time.

Should I worry about having kids in my 30s?

One perspective suggests that if you've found the right partner, you should have children as soon as possible, as they bring immense joy. Fertility testing can be a useful step even before marriage.

How can I avoid burnout in my 30s?

Learning to switch off, recharge, and recalibrate your mental bandwidth is essential. Schedule dedicated time for rest, vacations, and activities outside of work to maintain your well-being and leadership capacity.

How to Not Screw Up Your 30s

Ali Abdaal

Education4 min read37 min video

Jun 28, 2024|159,038 views|5,203|401

Ali Abdaal Ali abdal

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Key Moments

TL;DR

Mentors share life advice for 30s: self-acceptance, time value, deliberate choices, and continuous self-care.

Key Insights

Embrace self-acceptance and compassion for your perceived flaws.

Appreciate the finite nature of time and the weight of decisions.

Transition from exploring opportunities (game access) to selecting and focusing on high-impact ones (game selection).

Prioritize health and fitness as a critical investment with long-term payoffs.

Understand that the best things in life require earned effort, not just money.

Don't wait to pursue significant life goals like family vacations or having children.

SELF-ACCEPTANCE AND AUTHENTICITY

Matthew Hussey advises embracing imperfections, as the qualities we hide often need compassion, not concealment. Ali Abdaal reflects on his desire to be liked, which sometimes leads him to deprioritize his own preferences, a tendency he aims to address through journaling. This insight encourages viewers to identify hidden parts of themselves and explore fears of judgment, promoting a journey towards greater self-acceptance and authenticity.

VALUING TIME AND PRIORITIZING ACTIONS

Mark Manson highlights the stark realization in one's thirties that time is finite, unlike in the twenties where opportunities seem endless. This understanding imbues decisions with greater weight. Ali relates this to his own tendency to defer important personal commitments, like family trips, due to a calendar often filled with work obligations. He proposes a journaling exercise: considering what one would do if they knew they had only two years left to live.

STRATEGIC CHOICES: GAME ACCESS VS. SELECTION

Sahil Bloom introduces the concept of 'game access' in one's twenties, emphasizing exploration and saying yes to opportunities. In the thirties, the focus shifts to 'game selection'—deliberately choosing high-impact activities that align with long-term goals. Ali acknowledges this transition, recognizing the need to be more intentional about where he invests his finite energy, particularly in his work and personal projects, to drive significant outcomes.

THE FOUNDATION OF HEALTH AND WELLNESS

Dan Go stresses that investing in physical health yields the greatest return on investment, impacting not only the body but also mental clarity, energy, and confidence. This resonates with Ali's own recent focus on health. The advice from elders consistently points to regretting not prioritizing health earlier. The call to action involves tripling investment in health, considering increased physical activity, personal training, and potentially longevity testing.

EARNING THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE

Sahil Bloom debunks the myth that the best things in life are free, asserting they are often extraordinarily expensive but must be earned through consistent effort, discipline, and dedication. This perspective applies to relationships, health, career, and mindset. Ali finds this resonates with his own efforts in various aspects of his life, emphasizing the ongoing commitment required to build and maintain these valuable assets.

EMBRACING CHANGE AND LONG-TERM VISION

Daniel Priestley describes turning thirty as a significant chapter change, distinct from the twenties, where relationships evolve and foundations laid now dictate future quality of life. He advises focusing on the 20% of efforts that yield 80% of results. Noah Kagan encourages writing a letter to one's 40-year-old self to provide direction and advises sticking with what's currently working, alongside prioritizing skincare and enjoying the journey.

PURSUING JOYFUL EXPERIENCES AND FAMILY

Marie Forleo emphasizes seizing opportunities for meaningful experiences with loved ones now, such as vacations with parents, before health declines. She also advises maintaining a low-cost lifestyle while increasing earnings and savings. Near emphasizes the joy children bring and urges having them sooner rather than later if one has found a life partner. Ali recognizes fertility testing as a practical step for those considering starting a family.

LETTING GO OF COMPARISON AND THE NEED TO 'FIGURE IT OUT'

Eric Partaker reassures that one doesn't need to have everything figured out at thirty. He shares his diverse career path, highlighting that life unfolds unexpectedly, and focusing on the 20% of efforts yielding 80% of outcomes is key. This contrasts with the pressure to have every step planned, encouraging a more adaptive and leverage-focused approach to growth and opportunities.

THE IMPORTANCE OF REST AND RECIPROCITY

Chris Ducker advises learning to switch off, recharge, and recalibrate mental and physical bandwidth, especially for entrepreneurs. He notes that great leaders prioritize self-care to sustain their ability to lead. Ali identifies scheduling deliberate downtime and vacations as a crucial action point, acknowledging that blank calendar space is often filled by work by default. Planning ahead for rest is essential for long-term well-being.

MAKING 'BAD' DECISIONS FOR FUTURE GRATITUDE

Dr. Andrew Huberman suggests that embracing 'bad' decisions can lead to surprising gratitude later in life, as early decades are often spent meeting others' expectations. He encourages re-evaluating personal desires and taking steps towards them. Ali connects this to potentially making unconventional choices and suggests journaling about what one wants if external opinions were disregarded, and what 'bad' decisions might lead to future appreciation.

Mentioned in This Episode

●Products

●Software & Apps

●Organizations

●Books

●People Referenced

Advice for Your 30s: Dos and Don'ts

Practical takeaways from this episode

Do This

Accept and show compassion for the parts of yourself you hide.

Plan family vacations with older relatives sooner rather than later.

Keep expenses low and prioritize earnings and savings.

Wear sunscreen all over your body.

Appreciate how little time you have and make decisions deliberately.

Consider making 'bad' decisions that you might be grateful for later.

Have children as soon as possible if you've found the right partner.

Focus on 'game selection' in your 30s rather than just 'game access'.

Earn the best things in life through effort, consistency, and discipline.

Get your body in shape; it's the greatest return on investment.

Learn to switch off, recharge, and recalibrate your mental bandwidth.

Plan for and schedule time to rest, recharge, and take vacations.

Write down where you want to be at 40 to gain direction.

Continue doing what's working well in your life.

Invest in skincare, including lotions and sunblock.

Enjoy the journey and the present moment.

Focus on the 20% of activities in work, health, and relationships that drive 80% of positive outcomes.

Understand that turning 30 is a new chapter; embrace the shift in relationships and responsibilities.

Lay strong foundations in your 30s, as they dictate the quality of your life in your 40s.

Take fitness seriously; it's a 'use it or lose it' principle after 30.

Avoid This

Don't let the desire to be liked lead you to deprioritize your own preferences excessively.

Don't let work-life fill up your calendar, leaving no time for family or personal matters.

Don't think you need to have everything figured out or know every single step of your future.

Don't neglect your health, as it becomes harder to regain later in life.

Common Questions

Key advice includes embracing hidden parts of yourself, prioritizing family time, keeping expenses low, and wearing sunscreen. Many also suggest appreciating your limited time, making deliberate decisions, and investing in your health and well-being.

Topics

30s

Mentioned in this video

personNir Eyal

Bestselling author of 'Hooked' and 'Indistractable', who advised having children as soon as possible if you've found the right partner.

bookIndistractable

A book by Nir Eyal that the speaker found helpful for focus.

bookModels

Mark Manson's earlier book about attracting women.

personMarie Forleo

Entrepreneur and author of 'Everything Is Figureoutable', who offered advice on family vacations, lifestyle costs, and sunscreen.

bookNo More Mr Nice Guy

A book by Robert Glover discussed for its themes on men thinking about their own desires rather than just caretaking.

bookHooked

A book by Nir Eyal, mentioned as one of his bestselling works.

personKenobia

Psychiatrist, monk, and Harvard Medical School faculty, known as Dr. K, who advised making 'bad' decisions and re-evaluating life beyond expectations.

personBrenan Badger

Mentioned for his advice on scheduling holidays and family trips in advance.

personRobert Glover

Author of 'No More Mr Nice Guy', a book mentioned in relation to self-care and prioritizing one's own needs.

bookEverything Is Figureoutable

Marie Forleo's book, which conveys a message of problem-solving and possibility.

bookThe Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Mark Manson's bestselling book, mentioned as a reference point for his work.

companyHealthy Gamer

toolProductivity Lab