How can I assess where I am in my life right now?

You can assess your current life situation by first reflecting on what's working and not working in your work and personal life. A more structured method is The Wheel of Life exercise, where you rate your satisfaction across ten key areas like health, relationships, and career.

What is The Wheel of Life exercise and how do I do it?

The Wheel of Life involves rating your satisfaction (0-10) in ten categories: Body, Mind, Soul, Romance, Family, Friends, Mission, Money, Growth, and Joy. You can draw it yourself or take a free online quiz version linked in the description.

What is mimetic desire and why is it important to recognize?

Mimetic desire, a concept from René Girard, is the idea that our wants are often shaped by what those around us desire, rather than by our internal authenticity. Recognizing this helps ensure that the goals you pursue are genuinely yours.

How can fulfillment stories help me figure out what I want?

Fulfillment stories are specific actions you took, excelled at, and that brought you deep satisfaction. Identifying 3-5 such stories reveals what truly resonates with you, distinct from societal expectations, and guides you toward what you genuinely want.

What is an energy audit and how does it help?

An energy audit involves looking back at your recent activities (e.g., last two weeks) to identify which ones gave you energy and which drained it. This helps you understand what kind of work and activities align with your natural energy levels.

How does the 'Truths Exercise' help in finding what I want?

The Truths Exercise involves listing things you know to be true about yourself, including future aspirations stated in the present tense. This process grounds you in your current identity and accomplishments, boosting self-worth and motivating progress towards your desired future.

What is a good definition of success?

Success is defined as working towards the things that matter to you and enjoying the journey along the way. It's about pursuing your own definition of fulfillment on your own terms, rather than external validation like money or status.

Key Moments

How to Figure Out What You Really Want in Life

Ali Abdaal

Education3 min read22 min video

Jan 26, 2024|440,502 views|13,744|369

Ali Abdaal Ali abdal Life Productivity Desire Career Success Lost

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Key Moments

TL;DR

Understand yourself by assessing your present, past experiences, and desired future to define personal goals.

Key Insights

Self-understanding is key to defining life direction, requiring assessment of present situation, past experiences, and future aspirations.

The 'Wheel of Life' exercise helps gauge satisfaction across key life areas like work, health, and relationships, identifying areas for improvement.

Identifying 'fulfillment stories' – actions taken well that brought deep satisfaction – reveals authentic desires separate from societal influence.

An 'energy audit' of daily activities highlights what energizes versus drains you, guiding choices toward more fulfilling pursuits.

The 'truths' exercise, focusing on positive self-statements about who you are and what you've accomplished, builds self-worth and clarifies identity.

Recognizing 'mimetic desire' is crucial; differentiate between wants influenced by others and genuine personal aspirations.

UNDERSTANDING YOUR CURRENT POSITION

To effectively chart a course in life, it's crucial to first establish a clear understanding of your current location, much like an adventurer navigating a forest. This involves assessing what's currently working and what's not in different aspects of your life. Prompts such as "What's working and what isn't working in your work?" and "What's working and what isn't working in your life?" are effective starting points. Writing down these reflections provides clarity that mere thought cannot achieve, offering a foundational step in the self-discovery process.

THE WHEEL OF LIFE ASSESSMENT

A more structured method for assessing your current situation is the 'Wheel of Life' exercise. This involves visualizing life as a circle divided into key areas like work, health, and relationships, with further subdivisions such as body, mind, soul for health; romance, family, friends for relationships; and mission, money, growth for work, plus an additional category for joy. Rating your satisfaction from 0 to 10 in each category provides a visual representation of your life's balance and highlights specific areas that may require attention and improvement.

IDENTIFYING AUTHENTIC DESIRES: FULFILLMENT STORIES

To discern genuine wants from those influenced by societal pressures (mimetic desire), the concept of 'fulfillment stories' is introduced. These are actions taken by you that you executed well and which brought a deep, lasting sense of fulfillment. Key components include taking a concrete action where you were the protagonist, performing it with excellence by your own estimation, and experiencing a profound sense of satisfaction that endures. Identifying 3-5 such stories can illuminate your authentic drivers and aspirations.

ENERGY AUDITING FOR PERSONAL INSIGHT

An effective technique for understanding what truly motivates you is an 'energy audit.' This involves retrospectively examining recent activities, often from your calendar, to identify which brought you energy and which felt draining. By assigning positive markers to energizing activities and negative ones to draining experiences, you can gain significant insight into the types of tasks and endeavors that align with your natural inclinations. This is particularly useful for career choices, pinpointing work activities that foster engagement rather than exhaustion.

THE POWER OF TRUTHS: AFFIRMING IDENTITY

The 'truths' exercise is a powerful tool for self-affirmation and gaining perspective by focusing on what is undeniably true about you. This involves listing positive statements about yourself, your accomplishments, and your characteristics – what you *are* and what you *have* done. This practice helps overcome self-doubt and offers a grounded sense of your identity and progress, acting as an internal compass. When considering future aspirations, reframing these as present 'truths' (e.g., "I am a published author") solidifies intent and motivation.

DEFINING SUCCESS ON YOUR OWN TERMS

Ultimately, the goal is to define success not by external validation or societal metrics, but by working towards personally meaningful goals and enjoying the journey. The process involves clearly identifying what truly matters to you – your 'North Star.' By understanding your core desires and direction, the 'how' – the steps to get there – becomes more manageable. This series aims to ease the initial, critical step of discovering what you genuinely want, enabling you to pursue happiness and fulfillment on your own unique terms.

Mentioned in This Episode

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Key Exercises for Self-Discovery

Practical takeaways from this episode

Do This

Assess what's working and not working in your work and life.

Use The Wheel of Life to rate satisfaction across 10 life areas (Body, Mind, Soul, Romance, Family, Friends, Mission, Money, Growth, Joy).

Focus on marginal improvements rather than aiming for perfection.

Identify 3-5 fulfillment stories: actions you took, did well, and felt genuine fulfillment from.

Conduct an energy audit: identify activities that give you energy and those that drain it.

List 10+ positive 'truths' about yourself, including future aspirations stated as current realities.

When defining future truths, use present tense language ('I am', 'I have') as if they have already happened.

Avoid This

Don't get discouraged by the complexity of big life questions; approach them as an adventurer.

Don't let thinking alone suffice; write down your reflections for clarity.

Don't aim for 10/10 scores immediately in the Wheel of Life; seek small, progressive improvements.

Don't mistake fleeting joy or endorphin rushes for deep fulfillment.

Don't be overly pessimistic about low scores; identify what makes even a low score possible and build from there.

Don't fall into the trap of mimetic desire; ensure your wants are authentic to you.

Don't write negative statements about yourself when doing the Truths Exercise; focus on what you have and who you are.

Wheel of Life Self-Assessment Scores

Data extracted from this episode

Category	Score (0-10)	Timestamp
Physical Health (Body)	9	315
Mind	7	320
Soul	4	322
Relationships (Romance)	9	326
Relationships (Family)	7	328
Relationships (Friends)	5	330
Work Category (Mission)	9	333
Work Category (Money)	10	333
Work Category (Growth)	6	338
Joy	6	340

Common Questions

To get unstuck in life, you need to know where you're going (your North Star), understand where you are right now (your current situation), and then figure out the path to get from your current location to your desired destination.