When enough is enough | Andy Johns (ex-FB, Twitter, Quora)

It begins with suffering, followed by seeking the truth behind that suffering. Next, one practices self-compassion and self-love, understanding it's not their fault. Finally, this leads to developing compassion for others.

In the West, a common first step is seeking a therapist or counselor. Alternatively, journaling with pen and paper can be a powerful tool for introspection and self-discovery.

A primary barrier is the inertia of society and the fear of losing acceptance. We are biologically wired for connection, which can lead us to suppress our individuality to fit in.

Significant transformations often unfold over years. Some figures like Eckhart Tolle and the Buddha are cited as examples where profound shifts took around seven to eight years, representing the 'valley' between old and new identities.

It's a spectrum; many people undergo 'micro-transitions' like changing jobs. However, radical transformations of identity are less common. The approach depends on the depth of suffering and individual path.

Necessary suffering includes inevitable life events like aging, loss, and illness. Unnecessary suffering is largely mental, stemming from our own thoughts, interpretations, and unresolved past issues.

It starts with acknowledging the truth of your negative core beliefs. Then, consistently intercept and choose new responses in conditioned situations, like simply saying 'thank you' to a compliment, to build a new internal narrative.

The middle way avoids extremes; it's neither about being a prince nor living in poverty. The Buddha's path emphasized finding balance and a unique way to achieve liberation from suffering.

Instead of aggressively climbing mountains (achieving), it's about surrendering to life's current, relaxing, and paying attention to inner signals. This allows one to arrive at a destination they were meant for.

The ego senses challenges to its authority and actively pushes away or ignores aspects that threaten its established identity, often seeing change as a survival threat.

Prioritize feeling safe, and try 'speed dating' with a few therapists. Intuition about comfort and ideally, a therapist with intellectual capacity matching yours, are key.